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6 year old sensitive boy.. what should I do

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Tarun

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Jul 29, 2015

Hi Parents,   I have 2 kids. One is 6 year old boy and another is 11 months baby girl. From past 5 and half years my son was living with his maternal grand parents. He used to visit me once in a year. He was the only child there. He used to watch TV and play video games. He used to be in house whole day. Naani used to take her out in the park or any play ground everyday. Now he has shifted with me. From past 3 months he is living with me. He has joined school. But what I have noticed from his behaviour that he gets scared when anyone speak little loud. Noone can scold him if he does anything wrong. He will start crying so bad. After sometime I make him calm and then he agrees with me that he will not do that thing again. Elder kids can hit him, he wont say anything. Even kids in his class slapped him on his face once and didnt do anything. I dont know what should I do.     There is one more thing, he eats boogers. That is something nasty and when he gets caught he just started crying.   Please advise. How should I act in this situation and to make him a strong kid.   Thanks Worried Mom  

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Shikha Batra

| Jul 29, 2015

Hi Tarun! I Completely understand what u r saying. We need to look at various factors to understand this situation. let's first understand what a child is going through 1. Child's primary caregivers from 6 months till 6 years are all of a sudden out of picture. It is difficult to come to terms with this change and can take time. 2. He has to accept that he has a sibling who would get attention too and since parents have been staying with sibling since the time of her birth , to accomodate an older child would require adjustments by all family members. 3. Child has recently joined school which is again a major occurrence in child's life and demands lot of reorganization in a child's life in terms of waking up, sleep time, adjusting with peer group, behavior in a social setting ,following instructions of teachers. So there have been many major changes all of a sudden in this child's life. He needs support from parents as well as teachers to adjust in new settings. It is advisable to take following steps: 1. Try and strengthen parent child bond which would serve as the foundation. Once that trust is build up child would adjust in all other relationships be it with a sibling,peer group with yr help. 2 u could give time to the child. Talk to him about what happened during the day,spend weekends with whole family so as to understand each other, playing games or going out for an ice cream. Step by step build on that bond between a mother and a child .3. Help him develop a bond with sibling by involving him in jobs related to her. 4. Take him to the park,help him in having a peer group. 5. Talk to the teacher to understand in which areas he needs to strengthen his abilities by recognizing his strengths and working on those. 6. If possible please don't judge the child as he is going through a rough phase where he needs to adjust with new place, family,sibling, peer group, school etc. 7. As far as his habit is concerned, please avoid scolding or embarrassing the child every time he does that. Just be firm and polite in yr tone that this is not to be done. As it is not the right thing to do. I am sure he will come around soon with the efforts of all his well wishers. Hope this works!

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Parentune Support

| Jul 29, 2015

Hi Tarun You may refer to an earlier talk on a similar topic- http://www.parentune.com/parent-talk/dealing-with-a-sensitive-child/544

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