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Parenting

Teenage problem

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Rachna Mishra

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Mar 13, 2013

My 15yr old son feel outof place among his frnds and he says he is been bullied and ignored by all 6 members of their group. Though I hve explained him whatever best I could but still need suggestion. Thx

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Neetu Ralhan

| Mar 14, 2013

Hey Rachna, it may be a good idea to advise your son to hold back a little and allow his friends some time off to miss his goodness and helping nature.. take care..

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Rachna Mishra

| Mar 14, 2013

Yes his father too is aware & he spoke to him at length,but the problem is they r his school frnds & seems to be very selfish,when they need his help they call him my son do go out of the way to help them with notes at odd hours but when it comes to enjoying A outdoor trip or a visit to mall they treat him indifferently. Sometimes I feel like talking to these kids than I thought time is the best healer. Though my son is hellbent that next year onwards he would not like to be part of the group only. Let's see what's there in store for him. Thanks for ur reply

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Neetu Ralhan

| Mar 14, 2013

Hi Rachna, sometimes it is good not to try and solve a problem by ourselves. I am sure you would have tried your best to talk this out with your child. If it has not helped, it is perhaps time to rope in other people who can help you deal with this. Does his father know about this? Dads have a different approach to dealing with things. Maybe solving this issue needs a more stern and firm approach. Share with his father, meet the other kids, reach out to the school counselor / teachers, whatever works, one step at a time. It will help if your child knows you are supportive of him and that he does not need to simply adjust or ignore the issue. It is amazing how kids become cool dudes and get all the confidence to deal with a situation when they know mum and dad (specially dad) understand the problem. A guy-to-guy talk helps in these situations, if daddy is not available, perhaps an uncle or someone your child looks up to. If this is severely affecting your child, a firm stand needs to be taken. It will help to advise your child to be more assertive and firmly convey that bullies need to be told to back off and mostly, they will .

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Neena

| Mar 14, 2013

Hi Rachna. I have a teenage son myself so can understand how this may be troubling you. My radars are always at work, looking out for any signs of bullying or inappropriate behavior. Has your son shared with you if there was any particular incident which resulted in this behavior by his friends. It is not clear if these are his school mates or friends at home. He would probably not appreciate you reaching out to the kids, but may be could reach out one of the parents and seek their help in sensitizing the other kids. At the same time, there must be a child or two in this group who is more approachable and perhaps you can find out what is causing this behavior. Bullying needs to be nipped in the bud. Please share some more details which may help other parents give their suggestions..

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