hello. i am a working mom of two children.. daughter of 4yr old n son of 2yr old. my daughter is becoming very stubborn ,misbehaved day by day. i feel very helpless as i am not staying with them because of my long distance work place. after two or three day i meet my children. both of they are at home with their grandparents and father. differnce of only two years between them could be the one reason behind her angry and destroying nature,i also feel that guilt actually. beating her younger bro,throw anything on any family member,shouting weeping so loudly,slap her grand ma these are her daily tantrums. but thank god publically she is not so rude ,if someone doesnt do according to her she again start shouting weeping. i want to turn her into a well behaved,polite soft spoken happy child. what should i do. leaving my goverment job is also very tough decision for me and 190 km daily up-updown in hill area (my work place to home)also impossible. please suggest me... please

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Updated on Nov 28, 2017

education Corner

Answer:
I understand. It is difficult for all of you. Take the grand parents into confidence on setting a routine for her daily tasks. Make an incentive system. Draw up a chart. When she completes her tasks and she does not misbehave reward a star. When she gets five stars give her a huge applause and an extra hour of play as treat. Ignore tantrums. Once childrne know they cannot get away with tantrums they will stop. Praise whenever she is on good behaviour. When she throws a tantrum wait for her to complete it. Move away from her. Do not try to pacify her then. After she calms down hold her close and explain. She does not know to express her emotions. She has to be taught. Tell her,” I understand you are irritated but this is how you need to behave. ‘ Give her small chores at home where she has responsibilities of being an older sister. Make her feel important. She must be missing you hence this is just attention seeking behaviour. When you visit spend time talking to her. Make her feel big by telling that she has to take care of grandparents and brother. This will make her feel big and important. When you call ask her how they are. Whenever you visit spend exclusive time with sr and your son separately. Tell a story. Role play with them. As children they will fight. It is normal. But also teach how they can come up with alternative solutions.

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Varsha Karnad
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