Hi. I need a suggestion for the problem i face with my son who is 13 year old now. Both of us are working and hence he is left all alone at home since the time he reaches back home from school till we arrive. This created a comfortable environment for him for several years leading to create an independent zone to watch tv, playing with friends without any time restrictions. Hence asking him to study either after we reach home, during our absence at home, during weekend became so painful that he literally doesn't shows intrest in learning. The efforts of home tuition or sending him for tuitions became vain as he personally doesn't shows any interest and hence this always ends up with consuming lot of time to complete the simple things of studies. Since he doesn't shows intrest even the simplest things takes much time to be completed and by end of the day whatever he picked up for studies are both incomplete, or completed without any understanding and could have just finished for the sake. This will lead to unnecessary arguments between me and husband and also between my son and us. Almost each and every minute he shows faces to accept his mistakes and to correct it while he gives orals or explains his subjects. This ends up in a lot of irritation amongst us leaving us no room for peaceful and smoothing study environment. Understanding the fact that the reason for his behavior could be that we hardly at home, i took efforts in spending lot of time by using work from home options , initially he was reluctant to accept as all his independent zone are under observation. Moreover he has to now bound to some time limitations on watching tv, playing with friends. I sorted out the irritation aroused due to these new surprises by him by spending friendly time with him like watching tv along with him, trying to involve myself by understanding the tv channels he watches , cooking his favourite foods etc. Inspite of all these efforts for 2 months, he still argues for each and every things, be it studies or to do his own activities like getting ready, eating, help us in house chores etc. He doesn't follow time management at all. If he just understand or shows interest things will instantly change the current situations. I am giving enough leisure time like hour to watch tv after school and to play with friends for 1. 5 hours . After doing all these he still shows disinterest and spends time like anything and ends with arguments. Even providing him gives trouble. If i make him to study by conveying softly that he will get back all his leisure time activities after studying, he changes to be so arrogant and keeps on arguing , keeping in mind that he couldn't do his planned activities. So the problem is neither i make him to study after providing him leisure activities nor make him to study to give all his leisure activities by saying softly. What should I do?? Please help me. What are all the changes i should bring in to just make him to realize or understand that studying in quick span of time with little interest and dedication will solve the issues. And i am. not a buggy mother wanting him to rank high, all i expect is do studies on a regular routine scoring average but whatever you do should be with conscious, interest and dedication.

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Updated on Jun 20, 2017

education Corner

Hi Lakshmi Iyer, Thank you for writing. You are clearly trying to do your best. Here are a few tho...

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