hi my daughter is 15 yrs old. She has her 10th board exams in next 2 months. She always argues with me and does not behave properly. She is doing good in studies as well as sports but I am worried about her behaviour. She is short tempered and does not talk properly to me. what to do?health Corner
Part of being a teen is ‘rebelling,' trying to establish his or her identity and find her voice and place in the world. According to psycho-social development theorists, this is actually a healthy sign! This means your teen is trying to think for herself, trying to be independent and is trying to ‘flap' her wings in preparation to fly the nest. So, be prepared for – “No, I won't" or “Why should I?"—familiar phrases that will question your parental authority. Don't take it too personally or doubt her love or your ability as a parent. At the same time, do not be held hostage to your teen's demands, anger outbursts or silences. Balance and consistency are very important. Set clear realistic boundaries. Teens will test boundaries, and that is normal and even good. It is important that the rules you had for them when they were 10 years old need to be revised now. When setting these updated home ground rules, make sure they are realistic— for example, you cannot tell your 15-year-old that she has to be in bed by 9 PM or she has to be back home by 7 PM. That might have worked earlier, but now move the bedtime to 10 PM and curfew to 8 PM. Decide beforehand, the consequences of breaking your rules. Pick your battles wisely. Show empathy to her. We've all been there, done that, right? You have been a teen, too, and you know that your troubles were important at that stage in your life. So try and put yourself in her shoes, and shower her with plenty of love. Know when to give her space and when to step in. Pursue an activity that she likes, together, maybe once a week. Or schedule a fun outing – shopping or lunch. Being engaged in an activity allows her to open up to you, rather than pointed questioning.