I am highly worried mom of two year old boy. Everything was normal and smooth before 3 months. But now life is hell. My child is very quick learner, intelligent and developing good except for weight gain, which I am ok with. Problems arouse around 3onth back when he suddenly refused changing clothes, meaning he started troubling in both undressing as well as dressing. I tried to coax him with numerous things, explained him different times but all in vain. He would cry for 5-10 min and I had to do obviously. Next he started refusing bath to which my response was to make him bath twice a week forcefully. Post one month of that senario, my mom in law expired and when I. Came back from my maternal home, he started cried in sleeps which would last for about half an hour. and no matter what and who tried to make him stop he would not do that. This lasted for a week and suddenly everything was normal except for bathing. He started changing clothes again. Around this time I had to wean him off breastfeeding. He was reluctant but gave in in 5-6 days and was ok with it. Since past 15 days he has changed again suddenly. He again started crying in sleeps and this time he doesn't come to me. He asks me to go and if I show him my face he again cries. Another family member previously my sister in law and now my husband has to pacify him which takes about 15 minutes. After some 10 more minutes he needs me and will come to me and love me. But for that 30 minutes when he is upset he will not come to me and don't want to see me. Not only night time even during daytime if I force him anything such as his clothes or some times any bad habit of his he will again cry for half an hour and not come to me. This is troubling me a lot. He even beats me during his crying time, will dig his nails, pull my hair, and bite me if I come near him. Another thing to note is that he is attached to me a lot and didn't go to even his dad previously. What should be my approach during his crying time. How can I know the root cause? How can I help him to pacify and make him good disciplined boy? Please guide and help.

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Updated on Jun 20, 2019

child-psychology Corner

Answer:
He is 2? This age is called the terrific two or terrible two. At this age he is establishing his identity. The most important word he learns is NO. He is learning to see the world in his perspective and he will want to make his own choices. So do not take it personally. Instead listen to your child when he argues- what is he trying to convey? Give him the option to choose for example before his bath- you have to have your bath. He will say No. so then say - ok I see you are playing . So you decide -5 min from now or 10 min? He will choose the time. So value his independent thinking.try to see from his view. Now if you allow him to exercise his opinion and idea he will grow up to be an independent person. Also he has gone through a trauma of a death - of his grandmom. He doesn’t know to express his sorrow. So please be patient. You will have to be patient and affectionate - don’t worry about his response. Guide him on how to express his emotions. Involve him in play and conversation. Do not force him to do anything. Appreciate when he dresses or undressed a little later. He is just trying to be independent. Give him time. All the best

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