my son is 7 n he never listens to anyone evn school n tution teacher complain same thing dat is does nt listen. I m also fed up by giving him punishment nw dat also dnt work.. what shall i do make him listen to me n his elders....

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Updated on Feb 17, 2021

child-psychology Corner

Answer:
I understand your concern. It must be very frustrating for you. Your son may not be listening to you or anyone because he may be feeling very controlled, not given a choice or may be just being stubborn. It is important to understand the reason for this kind of behaviour. You can help him out by connecting with him and building a positive relationship with him. You may be already trying this, but consistency is the key. Sometimes low self-esteem or low confidence may also be a reason for not following instructions. It is important for you to praise all his good behaviour and small achievements. This will not only tell him what he is doing right, but also give him confidence and he will feel appreciated. When he feels appreciated he will want to continue the behaviour you appreciate. Do not criticise him, instead try to understand what is making him behave in a particular manner. Support his emotions and feelings and teach him how to deal with it. Punishing him will only create a lot of negativity in him and it will affect your relationship with him. Try to avoid punishments. Instead together you can come up with routines and rules which is not military style yet firm. Let him set consequences for accomplishing or not accomplishing tasks or the routine. As a parent you may also have to role model behaviours to him by not shouting and screaming your self and showing him how you are dealing with your anger. Talking to him about your feelings and emotions, your fears and how you deal with them. Take care.

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