My son is always telling lie pick things with out permission

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Updated on Sep 17, 2019

child-psychology Corner

Answer:
I understand your worry.I know this can be frustrating and disheartening to be in this situation. The issue and understanding here is not really his lying alone but what is causing the lying. Psychological research reveals that lying is a defense mechanism to fear and avoidance of consequences.. Eg: if I tell the truth, I will miss out on TV time. I might as well tell mom that I have no homework today in school. Overuse of this defense can result in compulsive lying as well.Children lie because they need instant gratification. Delayed gratification is difficult and time consuming. Boredom, poor beliefs in hard work, poor problem strategies, poor coping mechanisms are all causes to lying.As parents our disciplinary practices also can be a reason why children lie. Are we able to accept the faults of our children calmly or are we getting anxious? Do we punish them more than what was required? Are we punitive and judgmental? Are our behaviours a cause? With the limited information I have, I think this has just begun, it is important to ascertain the cause.I would advise you to read this blog and to contact a local child psychologist for some advice. Through the process of psychotherapy, he will be taught effective problem solving skills and coping mechanisms which can check this lying right in the beginning. Also the psychologist will give you parental training as to how to cope with this scenario. Please find the blog link here- https://www.parentune.com/parent-blog/when-do-children-learn-lying-is-an-option/634 Kindly go through this blog that I have written on this https://www.parentune.com/parent-blog/why-do-children-lie-the-psyche-of-lying/2747 I hope this helps.

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Varsha Karnad
Proparent
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