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Ask The Psychologist

Nidhi Jain (Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist)


May 01, 2020 | 2 : 00 PM to 3 : 15 PM

Mental well being has never been more important than it is now. The corona virus pandemic has caused a lot of psychological stress to both children and parents. Ask all your questions with regards to how to stay mentally and emotionally sane during this lockdown to Nidhi Jain here.


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hi doctor, my baby boy completed four years, *he never listens what we say *when we start to teach....

hi doctor, my baby boy completed four years, *he never listens what we say *when we start to teach he doesn't concentration about reading, writing and etc. *screeming always. *always he wants to do something like sounds with utensils, toys, jumping, hiting us. kindly assist..

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Nidhi Jain
Hi Ruvanthika, does your child face similar issues in a school set up? Is he able to sit and play without getting up like while colouring, doing a puzzle etc. 2020-05-02 13:17:54
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Nidhi Jain
If yes ,then the issue seems more discipline oriented. 2020-05-02 13:18:00
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Nidhi Jain
You need to win his trust. Be calm and composed in talking to him. Reward him for achieving small goals. Make him understand that repeated misbehaving will have consequences like no screen time 2020-05-02 13:18:15
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hi doctor in these days im feeling very stressful. what should i do?

hi doctor in these days im feeling very stressful. what should i do?

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Nidhi Jain
Hi Sineha, First of all, these are very stressful times for most of us and its very valid that you are feeling like this. Some tips that you can follow to lessen the anxiety are ; 1. Maintain a more or less fixed routine with respect to sleeping and waking up, eating, bathing, doing work etc. This is give you some sense of control. 2. Get some physical exercise , like a walk, yoga asanas, dancing to music etc. This will regulate your physiology and bodily functions. 3. Do something for your emotional well being,such as listening to music, pranayams, talking to a friend, spending time with loved ones. 4. Set up a worry window ie a time to worry in and do not allow yourself to worry at other times. 5. Write a gratitude journal,stating things you are grateful for ! hope this helps! 2020-05-01 14:09:47
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my daughter is 3.5 yrs old. she has not started sentence formation but she repeats all the words tau....

my daughter is 3.5 yrs old. she has not started sentence formation but she repeats all the words taught.she is aggressive , moddy n stubborn but does follow the instruction given.she luvs to run n play but making her sit is vry difficult. earlier she was shy to strangers but now she has started involving with others as per the comfort zone.her online classes of school has started but making her sit is a big challenge. what should i do?

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Nidhi Jain
Your daughter is still young and am sure it might be difficult for you but it’s ok to take it a little easy. As a parent , try to not get very worked up because she will catch onto your anxiety and react with greater misbehaviour. 2020-05-02 13:15:28
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Nidhi Jain
She is old enough to understand rewards. Set up a reward sheet with her... give her stars for accomplishing work .... 2020-05-02 13:15:43
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am a working woman. I have two sons 5.5 & 8.5yrs. in past 2-3 yrs, i have become short tempered. as....

am a working woman. I have two sons 5.5 & 8.5yrs. in past 2-3 yrs, i have become short tempered. as a result i feel my sons r also becoming short tempered . also dont listen to me especially the younger one! these days also am quite shortempered. keep slapping them now n then..n later feel highly guilty . due to high stress n guilt n being unable to control my temperament i also suffer sleepless nights despite being highly tired! kindly help. how can i overcome my short temperament.

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Nidhi Jain
Hi RS, It would help for you to regulate your emotions. Everytime you feel you are getting agitated, give yourself a time out. Breathe, have a glass of water and then return to the situation. It would also help to get some quiet time for urself during the day, even if its for a couple of moments so that you do not feel so overwhelmed. Incorporate some exercise in the day to let off the steam. And like you rightfully said, your sons are watching you. Children rarely listen to what parents say, they watch what we do ..... try to be a good role model ! 2020-05-01 14:17:24
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My son is 4 and half years old. He has become very restless after lockdown and gets angry and disap....

My son is 4 and half years old. He has become very restless after lockdown and gets angry and disappointed very easily. How to handle this emotional stress in small children during lockdown.

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Nidhi Jain
Dear Jinia, These are trying times for all of us. 1. Set up a flexible but consistent routine for your son. Children thrive on structure and need it to feel "normal" 2. Reward positive behaviour, praise the good so that he feels capable. 3. All misbehaviour is the expression of a need. Once the need is addressed, the misbehaviour disappears. Try to understand the underlying need, is he worried, confused....and address it. 4. Children have a lot of energy, do something physical with him, hula hoops, dancing, exercising. 5. Spend one on one quality time with him,give him all your love and support. 2020-05-01 14:24:16
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she is 5 years old. she is so stressed in this lockdown. i had a boy baby he is 9 months old. she....

she is 5 years old. she is so stressed in this lockdown. i had a boy baby he is 9 months old. she is started to express her emotion little hard to her brother and us. am really worried about her emotional and behavioral changes. pls tell me how to handle?

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Nidhi Jain
Hi Radha, It seems like your daughter may be experiencing some level of sibling rivalry. Please know that this is inevitable and very normal. Having said that, you should extend a lot of love and support to her. Involve her in talking care of the baby. Make her feel responsible, give her chores in providing for the baby Give her work to do in the house so that she feels she is important. Get other members of the family to spend time with her when you are busy with the baby. Spend at least some quality one on one time with her . If she is worried about the lockdown, get down to her level and explain things to her in a way that she would understand. Try and not let your anxieties get to her.... Please remember that if you are regulated, she will be too ! 2020-05-01 14:32:41
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How do I deal with daughter who is 5.5 years old she don't want to attend her online classes of 1.5....

How do I deal with daughter who is 5.5 years old she don't want to attend her online classes of 1.5 hours, she find it very boring and she loose focus during the class and keeps playing with pencil or eraser, though she is attentive and answer whenever teacher ask her anything. But she keeps complaining all the day like I am bored, all toys and games are old, I have played with these all.She gets angry and shouts many a times. Please help.

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Nidhi Jain
Hi Preeti, Please understand that for most children being at home means VACATION TIME. The concept of online classes is alien to them. 1. Set up a routine that is a balance between studies and fun time. When children go to school they have a structure to the day, this is not available at home and therefore you must try to provide it. 2.Set clear goals and reward her when she reaches them. 3. Explain that there will be consequences to misbehaviour. If she screams and shouts, certain fun activities may be cancelled. 4. Follow through on this. She will be able to understand that you mean what you say. 5. Connect before you correct. Maintain eye contact with her, put your hand on her shoulder, stoop down to her level. 6. Spend time doing fun things, cooking together, painting, craft, reading. 2020-05-01 14:42:45
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Hello madam my son is 6yrs old he is very aggressive and did not listen to us, now a days he addict....

Hello madam my son is 6yrs old he is very aggressive and did not listen to us, now a days he addicted to mobile I kept him for time but he is not listening and not showing interest on studies, he may not sit more then 10 min when I start studies, due to this iam loosing my patience. Pls suggest me How can I make him for studies and he may like studies, he is very slow in studies n how can he listen my words.

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Nidhi Jain
Dear Sandy, Please set up a routine for your son. Children need structure. Since, he is 6 years old, you can set up a time table with him devoting time to studies, play, the screen etc. Reward him if he is able to follow the timetable and take away some privileges if he does not. Decide with him what his rewards and consequences should be. For example, if he studies for an hour without getting up he could get 10 more minutes on the mobile. but if he doesn't 5 minutes will be reduced from mobile time. This will make him take responsibility for his behaviour. In addition, follow through on this in a calm and composed way. 2020-05-01 14:51:14
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दूध पीने के बाद से ही उलटी मे दूध कयो आता है

दूध पीने के बाद से ही उलटी मे दूध कयो आता है

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How do I get my kids to stop fighting?

How do I get my kids to stop fighting?

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Nidhi Jain
Dear Kumkum, Siblings fighting with each other is inevitable, although as parents it may be very taxing for us. Dont blame yourself unfairly for the way the children behave and don't set unrealistic goals for family harmony. Stay calm and objective ! Come up with a list of basic family rules. Set up rewards and consequences for anyone who flouts them. Encourage communication and understanding of feelings. Try not to be a refree and let them solve their own problems. Get them to do things together as a team. Do not force them to be friends with each other, that will happen with time, get them however to RESPECT each other ! 2020-05-01 14:58:43
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My cousin has turned very irate now a days. He earlier wanted to skip school now he asks to go to sc....

My cousin has turned very irate now a days. He earlier wanted to skip school now he asks to go to school and I can't help. We have got various board games and activities. But he seems to be losing interest there as well. We both are working and this is now becoming an issue. Pls Help

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Nidhi Jain
Hey Dhawal, Since I don't know the exact age of your cousin, it will be a little difficult for me to be specific in my reply. Having said that , its important that your cousin follows a routine through the day. Make sure he gets enough rest and activity time.Incorporate some physical exercise. This will aid him in regulating his energies. Digital discipline should be followed, with limited screen time.Make him responsible for some house hold chores so that he feels accountable. Schedule time for him to connect with his friends and family virtually ie on skype, facetime, watsapp etc. Try not to let social distancing lead to emotional isolation. Grow as a family ! 2020-05-01 15:08:32
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My child who will be 9 years in June,gets irritable on small small things..She would simply ignore....

My child who will be 9 years in June,gets irritable on small small things..She would simply ignore all our requests to study.Even making a schedule isnt working with her. She doenst want to write online classes work in notebook and gets angry on being asked to do so. She is very moody and carries a lot of attitude. She is fond of eating and wants to munch on something every now and then. How to deal with her?

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Nidhi Jain
Dear Snehal, All misbehaviour stems from an unmet need. Try to figure what that is and address it. Is your daughter over or under stimulated, she is getting enough sleep, the right nutrition, enough attention etc. You could try to use a token economy system to modify her behavior. Give her points for good behaviour which can be exchanged for rewards of her choice. Keep it positive ! Be calm yourself even if she behaves in a way you do not like. 2020-05-01 15:14:35
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hi Nidhi, I am.finding it difficult to make my kids follow a.routine. we are meltdowns as afamily ,....

hi Nidhi, I am.finding it difficult to make my kids follow a.routine. we are meltdowns as afamily , how do we deal with situation . We burst like volcanoes and then after we are all fine . Its.mostly bbetween me and my kids.can you suggest something.

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Nidhi Jain
Dear Renu 2020-05-02 13:16:07
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Nidhi Jain
I can sense and feel what you are trying to say. 2020-05-02 13:16:13
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Nidhi Jain
It’s important that as an adult you try and maintain your calm. Try to not engage in a power struggle with the children. If and when you lose your cool, it becomes a psychological game for the kids. They see you react in a frustrated manner and internalise subconsciously that it’s ok for them to do so too. 2020-05-02 13:16:19
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Nidhi Jain
Give urself a time out when u feel urself losing your cool. Make sure the children are safe and exit from the situation for a little while. Breathe, listen to music, splash some water on ur face and come back. 2020-05-02 13:16:29
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Nidhi Jain
As for the kids, enforce a slightly stricter rewards and consequences system... make some rules and ensure that you follow through in a calm but assertive manner ! 2020-05-02 13:16:37

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