How To Instill Discipline In Your Little One

Live Chat - How To Instill Discipline In Your Little One?

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Swapna Nair

How To Instill Discipline In Your Little One?

Swapna Nair, Education Counsellor & Therapist


Nov 27, 2018 | 3 : 00 PM to 4 : 00 PM

REGISTER NOW for a LIVE CHAT with SWAPNA NAIR, an award-winning Education Counsellor and Therapist - and get the tools you need to instill discipline in your child's life. What you stand to gain?




  • Things to know before you start disciplining your child

  • Expert tips and strategies to make "disciplining" a fun process - for you and your child

  • Learn from queries from parents with similar concerns for their child and the solutions provided by the counsellor

  • Don't miss out on this great opportunity to connect live with our counsellor and put away all those frowns - once and for all!



Register now and queue up your questions, right away!



What's Discipline? Here's Swapna's View:



'Discipline', well...to be honest, the very word has a put-off feel, even for adults, so how do we expect our children to take to it with any kind of enthusiasm! Ad yet discipline is a need of life - it helps us achieve our goals and step up on the ladder of success and happiness - and as a parent you want this for your child. Yes, instilling discipline in your child is a necessity - but it need not necessarily be a tedious and boring job. Before disciplining your child, you need to ask yourself some questions.... Let us help you with these questions: Do you set clear goals for your child? How do you make sure that your child understands what s/he is being told by you? Is discipline and punishment synonymous for you? Does your child fear the consequences of what might happen if s/he does not complete a given task or does your child finish the task because s/he knows that it is his/her responsibility? How do you teach "responsibility" to your child? Have you made efforts to familiarise yourself with your child's temperament and accordingly set your expectations? Have you involved your child in the rule-making process? Well... you are not alone. Almost all parents are in the same boat as yours and they all need the right paddles to take them through the parenting ride - and that's exactly what we bring you...



- Swapna Nair


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hello my son is 6 yrs old. l always teach him how to behave in a good manners or how to maintain de....

hello my son is 6 yrs old. l always teach him how to behave in a good manners or how to maintain decipline. Sometimes he did so but mostly he didn't what should I do??

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Swapna Nair
Children learn from what they see around us. Hence do role model the behaviour you expect. Make good manners, saying thank you, please and sorry part of your daily life. He will pick up automatically 2018-11-27 15:03:07
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Swapna Nair
Appreciate his good behaviour. Focus on the positive 2018-11-27 15:03:43
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Swapna Nair
Set rules and consequences that are appropriate for his age. 2018-11-27 15:04:33
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hi my son is 5 yrs old.he never listens to anything in one time.i have to repeat atleast 4 to 5 time....

hi my son is 5 yrs old.he never listens to anything in one time.i have to repeat atleast 4 to 5 times.if i need him to do some work he starts crying n says y should i always do the work.for everything i have to scold at him r shout at him so that he would listen to me.plz tell me how should i make him listen.

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Swapna Nair
Till the age of 3, going down to their eye level and telling them what to do ensures better response. Eyes ought to convey warmth and not control. While addressing your child use their names. Communication is then more personal and respectful. Nicknames and pet names work well too. In fact some parents use the proper names only when they mean business and children understand immediately 2018-11-27 15:06:00
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Swapna Nair
Nagging comes naturally to parents. Repetition is alright with toddlers when you want them to internalise instructions. From the age of 5 children are trying to understand themselves and their surroundings better. They also have gone through a whole day at school listening to teachers berating instructions. Hence at home they become ‘zen’ like. It is precisely then that we are also issuing orders and threats! Imagine from their perspective. They have to consider school work, friends, siblings, the tv, playing and of course the parents. Yes we would usually be down in their list. Please do not take it personally. After all we are the most familiar people in their lives. They become selectively deaf to us! 2018-11-27 15:06:28
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Swapna Nair
A harsh tone or a sarcastic tone will make kids rebel or disobey more. A softer tone, warmer tone conveys love. It is very effective too. When we speak harshly we hurt our children. When children yell or shout and we retaliate in the same manner we are reinforcing aggressive behaviour. Pause. Walk out of the room. Come back when they are calmer. Your tone will be automatically softer. 2018-11-27 15:06:54
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Swapna Nair
Set rules and cosequences according to the age 2018-11-27 15:07:29
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Swapna Nair
Appreciate good behaviour. 2018-11-27 15:07:38
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my daughter is 5 years..she refuses to start eating herself and whatever i try - giving her fav food....

my daughter is 5 years..she refuses to start eating herself and whatever i try - giving her fav food, giving only ven she says hungry etc etc the food remains untouched for hours..pls help as i am now a second time mum of a 2 month old.

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Swapna Nair
Since yo usay the food remains untouched for hours, i also seethat you mean she eats but after a long time, is it so? 2018-11-27 15:08:26
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Swapna Nair
Since yo uhave two children this is her way of seeking her share of attention 2018-11-27 15:08:46
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Swapna Nair
For parents feeding a child is paramount especially to Indian parents. When yo uahve two kids and when the second is very small, it is very important that you respond to the older one and take care of her needs. becasue she knows, she understands. The infant is too small. It needs to be just fed and taken care of .So make it a ritual to spend quality time every day with your older one. This time is only to play or hang out or chat with her. Have fun. Build your bond. 2018-11-27 15:10:42
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Swapna Nair
Don't worry, when she is hungry she will eat. keep the food on the table ,where she can reach When no one is looking she will come and eat. Maybe you could think of nutritious finger foods instead of usual meals. Also breaking being meals into smaller and offering food at intervals may serve the purpose. 2018-11-27 15:12:24
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my son is 3 years old he wil not listen to me for every small things he used to cry m getting fed up....

my son is 3 years old he wil not listen to me for every small things he used to cry m getting fed up of him..plz give me a solution how to handle him..

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Swapna Nair
So why is he crying? Observe and find out the trigger . so you can resolve next time before he begins crying. 2018-11-27 15:13:40
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Swapna Nair
When he cries, allow him to cry. Walk away. come back when you and him are clamer. Then go down to his eye level and talk 2018-11-27 15:14:15
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Swapna Nair
Ask him what the matter is. It ma ybe silly to you but for him it is huge. Then guide him on how he can express so that you would understand him better. He does not know to express. so you have to coach 2018-11-27 15:15:26
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Swapna Nair
If and when he does not cry the next time appreciate his behaviour so he is encouraged 2018-11-27 15:15:52
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Swapna Nair
You have to practise being calm. Understand from his perspective. Offer him choices 2018-11-27 15:16:12
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Swapna Nair
Offer options where they do not have to say a clear No. To small children you can say, ‘bath time now or in 15 minutes’? Brainstorm for solutions together with older children- ‘ how do you think you can understand the concepts better while the teacher is teaching? 2018-11-27 15:16:26
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Swapna Nair
9. Set consequences that are age and situation appropriate- Do share the consequences with your child so that they are better prepared. ‘You lose 15 minutes of play time tomorrow if you delay now.’ 2018-11-27 15:16:45
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my son is 3.5 years old. he s not listening to anyone. he s being so adamant in all the things.

my son is 3.5 years old. he s not listening to anyone. he s being so adamant in all the things.

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Swapna Nair
Till the age of 3, going down to their eye level and telling them what to do ensures better response. Eyes ought to convey warmth and not control. 2018-11-27 15:19:50
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Swapna Nair
Now on if yo uwish to convey something, use a firm tone, call out his name, go to him and speak. Do not nag. be specific and simple. offer options- you can eat nor or after ten minutes. Allow him to choose. ONly two choices at a time ok 2018-11-27 15:21:14
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Swapna Nair
Set rules and consequences suitable to the age 2018-11-27 15:21:28
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Swapna Nair
appreciate good behaviour and give little rewards like extra play time 2018-11-27 15:22:21
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Swapna Nair
Observe and understand what he is being adamant about. Then offer the choices 2018-11-27 15:22:42
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hi.. how can i instill discipline in my 4 year old girl without beating her.. whenever we say anythi....

hi.. how can i instill discipline in my 4 year old girl without beating her.. whenever we say anything she starts crying firstand i will have to shout on her to listen to me

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Swapna Nair
You don't need to beat children at all. Those days have gone where parents have used beatings. It is a constant power struggle between parents and children. Discipline has to be part of daily life. OBserve when she gets upset. Accordingly offer choices. Offer only two so that she picks up one. Do be flexible according to the situation. Some things like sleep or going to school is non negotiable. 2018-11-27 15:26:19
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Swapna Nair
Remind her only once. Do not nag. Allow her t face the consequence so that she does not repeat. if she cries, it is alright. Walk away. come back when she stops. then talk to her. 2018-11-27 15:27:23
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Swapna Nair
Make her understand and guide her on how she can express herself in different ways. You have to repeat this several times till she imbibes it well. 2018-11-27 15:28:10
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My 3.5 yr old son listen only when he is in mood otherwise he didn't listen or refuse to do dat wrk....

My 3.5 yr old son listen only when he is in mood otherwise he didn't listen or refuse to do dat wrk including some gud behavior or gud habit. pls suggest how to teach dem manners and house hold wrk.

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Swapna Nair
Children learn from what they see around us. Hence do role model the behaviour you expect. Make good manners, saying thank you, please and sorry part of your daily life. He will pick up automatically 2018-11-27 15:28:44
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Swapna Nair
Appreciate his good behaviour. Focus on the positive 2018-11-27 15:29:05
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Swapna Nair
Set rules and consequences that are appropriate for his age. 2018-11-27 15:29:21
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Swapna Nair
Set consequences that are age and situation appropriate- Do share the consequences with your child so that they are better prepared. ‘You lose 15 minutes of play time tomorrow if you delay now.’ 1 2018-11-27 15:29:50
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Hi My son is 3 years old... when ever we say a particular thing for example: u can do it he will sa....

Hi My son is 3 years old... when ever we say a particular thing for example: u can do it he will say no he can't, its hot, he will no its not hot everything what ever we are telling he is say in opposite to that... How can we change this behavior..

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Swapna Nair
It is a normal repsonse between the age 2-4 to say a No for everything. Do not take it personally. They are learning to mind their own mind. They are explorers atthis satge. They are curious and needto believe only when they experience . So do take care and keep way stuff away from him that can endanger his safety. At the dinner table bring in the hot stuff last. You can give a warning. When he says no next time tell him that alright but stay away. But take care to keep away hot stuff away from his reach. Children will not understand the concept of consequences. They just love to do what they feel at that moment.He is not disrespecting you. Right from his early days as toddler he has heard No most repeated. Also it is a temporary phase. Keep guiding calmly. Don't get upset about this. He will learn in good time. 2018-11-27 15:01:03
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my baby is 3yrs n8mnths old he frequently doesnt listen to our commands , he ignores. he does what h....

my baby is 3yrs n8mnths old he frequently doesnt listen to our commands , he ignores. he does what he likes sometimes he behaves like a stubborn. What shud we do to make him listen to every commands .

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Swapna Nair
Till the age of 3, going down to their eye level and telling them what to do ensures better response. Eyes ought to convey warmth and not control. Eye contact is important. Go near him and address him 2018-11-27 15:30:53
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Swapna Nair
Nagging comes naturally to parents. Repetition is alright with toddlers when you want them to internalise instructions. From the age of 5 children are trying to understand themselves and their surroundings better. They also have gone through a whole day at school listening to teachers berating instructions. Hence at home they become ‘zen’ like. It is precisely then that we are also issuing orders and threats! Imagine from their perspective. They have to consider school work, friends, siblings, the tv, playing and of course the parents. Yes we would usually be down in their list. Please do not take it personally. After all we are the most familiar people in their lives. They become selectively deaf to us! 2018-11-27 15:31:18
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n due to his annoying behaviour i got angry veryeasily n start beating him 2018-11-27 15:31:34
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Swapna Nair
Our tone conveys most part of the communication. What is the tone you would like your child to use with you and others? A harsh tone or a sarcastic tone will make kids rebel or disobey more. A softer tone, warmer tone conveys love. It is very effective too. When we speak harshly we hurt our children. When children yell or shout and we retaliate in the same manner we are reinforcing aggressive behaviour. Pause. Walk out of the room. Come back when they are calmer. Your tone will be automatically softer. 2018-11-27 15:31:43
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suggest me how to get control over my anger 2018-11-27 15:31:59
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Swapna Nair
YOu have to practise patience. Aggressive behaviour will make him learn the same way to respond 2018-11-27 15:32:11
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Swapna Nair
The best option is to always be conscious that your child is small. Look at things from his little word, from his little mind 2018-11-27 15:33:00
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Swapna Nair
Walk away from him when you get angry 2018-11-27 15:33:10
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Swapna Nair
Go to the kitchen. Have water. Or take acloth and begin dusting around. After a few minutes come back. 2018-11-27 15:33:46
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will he recover these bad habbits later 2018-11-27 15:34:01
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Swapna Nair
Or practise deep breathing . An alternative is to keep balloonsi n the kitchen 2018-11-27 15:34:05
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Swapna Nair
Blow them. You will be automatically breathe deep 2018-11-27 15:34:18
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Swapna Nair
Once yo uare calm yo uwill handle better. Yes of course he will grow up well mannered if observes your behaviour 2018-11-27 15:34:51
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Swapna Nair
Role model the behaviour you expect. Be courteous. Children do as we do 2018-11-27 15:35:22
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Swapna Nair
If you get angry and beat or scream he learns that it is ok to be aggressive 2018-11-27 15:35:47
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Swapna Nair
You have to understand that you are upset about his behaviour. Look at what irritates you , what irritates him, why is he behaving so, Then yo ucan resolve. 2018-11-27 15:36:26
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Swapna Nair
Do not make small issues into a power struggle. He is small. He doesnt know how to behave, how to express. You have to keep guiding. 2018-11-27 15:37:02
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hello madam . my son 3.7 years what ever i teach good manner he follow few nd he wnt hv any interest....

hello madam . my son 3.7 years what ever i teach good manner he follow few nd he wnt hv any interest in playing with education toys . he always prefer to listen to music. he always do notty things. can u suggest me how to make him follow good manner nd how to make him to get interest in educational toy

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Swapna Nair
Good manners ahs to be part of your daily life. Children do as we do and not what we say. Hence he will pick up the manners as he observes you. When he is wrong juts guide him gently 2018-11-27 15:38:22
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Swapna Nair
If he loves music then try to get musical toys. ENcourage him in the field of music. Give him exposure. Be patient. His interests will keep changing. 2018-11-27 15:39:32
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Swapna Nair
Maybe if you play with him he may get interested. Have his friends over to play the games. After several efforts if he does not like then choose games that he likes. Any form of play is good for the development of children 2018-11-27 15:40:36
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hi, my daughter is 6yrs old, whenever I try to say anything about good manners sometimes she listens....

hi, my daughter is 6yrs old, whenever I try to say anything about good manners sometimes she listens sometimes she immediately skip to some other topic. if I say anything regarding discipline most of the times she starts to cry. I don't know how to deal it..

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Swapna Nair
Children learn from what they see around us. Hence do role model the behaviour you expect. Make good manners, saying thank you, please and sorry part of your daily life. She will pick up automatically 2018-11-27 15:17:36
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Swapna Nair
It is alright if she cries. Allow her to. When both of you are clam yo ucan talk to her. 2018-11-27 15:18:01
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Swapna Nair
9. Set consequences that are age and situation appropriate- Do share the consequences with your child so that they are better prepared. ‘You lose 15 minutes of play time tomorrow if you delay now.’ 2018-11-27 15:18:11
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Swapna Nair
Do not nag or talk about consequences too much to children. 2018-11-27 15:18:51
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Swapna Nair
From the age of 5 children are trying to understand themselves and their surroundings better. They also have gone through a whole day at school listening to teachers berating instructions. Hence at home they become ‘zen’ like. It is precisely then that we are also issuing orders and threats! Imagine from their perspective. They have to consider school work, friends, siblings, the tv, playing and of course the parents. Yes we would usually be down in their list. Please do not take it personally. After all we are the most familiar people in their lives. They become selectively deaf to us! 2018-11-27 15:19:19

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