How to stop your child from using bad language

Live Chat - How to stop your child from using bad language

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Swapna Nair

How to stop your child from using bad language

Swapna Nair, Education and Career Counsellor


Sep 06, 2017 | 5 : 00 PM to 6 : 00 PM

The first time a child uses a "bad word" - be it "stupid" or something worse - it is bound to shock you; it may also happen that you are so stunned by it that you have no clue how to react! Some parents may take a stern approach and punish the child.  After all, you want to get on top of this now, before it gets any worse.



 What you need to know... 



The first time your child is speaking out a bad word, s/he may not even know it means! For your child, it may well be just another "new" word and s/he is showing off to you (or worse, to your friends or family!).  Even though it is an innocent mistake, you cannot ignore it! If you do not communicate that it is wrong, your child is likely to keep using it without realising it is wrong - and it may end becoming a habit, which is certainly not okay!



 In older children (tweens and teens), who have picked up bad language from the environment, the problem is more difficult to curb.



 So, the question is: What to do when your child uses a bad word? 



The “bad word” situation is bound to happen sometime or the other. In today's day and age, every child is exposed to name-calling. However, using a harsh approach to curb harsh language won’t work.



 Experts say that the more you try to curb it, the more chances of a backfire! What that essentially means is that the more you tell your child to not do a thing, the more likely it is that s/he may do it. Once your child knows that doing a particular thing will get a response from you (especially true if your child is between 3-7), your child may intentionally use that bad word to get your attention - this could happen at home or when you are in a mall or at a social gathering! So a reaction like "Don't say that word again – ever!" - may well be the worst thing to say to your child.  



So the question really is "WHAT" you should do and "HOW" to do it - in both cases: Be it the first time your child used a bad word, or in case using bad language has already become a habit with your child.



 There are many ways to tackle any situation - but not all are as effective. And that's why at times we need an Expert’s support to turn a negative situation around – and that’s what we’ve got for you…



REGISTER NOW for a LIVE CHAT with Swapna Nair, award-winning Parent-Child Therapist and get your answers to “what to do” and “how to do it”.

 



What you stand to gain?




  1. Tried-tested expert tips on how to curb bad words or bad language in your child, depending on your child’s age.

     

  2. Experience sharing on “what you have already tried” and understanding “why it did not work” and “what steps to take next”.

     

  3. Learn from queries from parents with diet concerns for their child and the solutions provided by the therapist.



 Register now and queue up your questions, right away!



Registration fee : INR 50

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My Child plays with some elder children in the society and he is using phrases which are not accepte....

My Child plays with some elder children in the society and he is using phrases which are not accepted at all. I try and let him know its negative impact but he overrules me and shouts. What to do?

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Swapna Nair
how old is your child? 2017-09-06 17:01:47
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he is 11 years 2017-09-06 17:02:36
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and has freieds of 16+ years 2017-09-06 17:02:55
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Swapna Nair
Ok so he is in middle school. Have a brainstorming session. Help him to find a decent or funny substitute for the word. Explain how it can become a habit. They need to be mindful of their surroundings. It is impolite. Ask them if they know the meaning. If they know then they should not be using; if they do not know then tell them the meaning closest to the truth and that using slang is not respectful. For this age group you can use a glass jar and call it The Cursed jar. Use a fee or tax system where they pay a fee or tax from their pocket money when they swear. If they do not have a pocket money, let them put a small note denoting their tax- e.g. I will minus 15 minutes from my play time. Similarly appreciate them when they tell you they have avoided slang or have reduced their usage. 2017-09-06 17:03:09
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Well thats indeed an insightful way of dealing with it but my broblem refers to a pre step of what is told here 2017-09-06 17:03:58
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Swapna Nair
He wants to be taken for playing so he behaves like them. Understand this. help him by telling that if he plays well he will be taken by them. he need not talk like them. do not use a nagging tone. 2017-09-06 17:04:02
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he shouts and disobey sometimes 2017-09-06 17:04:17
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Swapna Nair
Children do not like to be nagged about their friends. Play is very important to him at this stage. Or have a bargain that he ought not to use it inside the house. 2017-09-06 17:04:59
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being 11 I dont want to get into beating and then eventually into a quarrel and to save this situation he is taking undueadvantage 2017-09-06 17:05:01
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ok 2017-09-06 17:05:13
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Swapna Nair
Beating and scolding will not help nowadays. 2017-09-06 17:05:20
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Swapna Nair
They have to be treated as an individual and spoken to 2017-09-06 17:05:35
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hmmmm 2017-09-06 17:05:36
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so what to do 2017-09-06 17:05:43
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Swapna Nair
Ask him to come up with a solution. Keep an exclusive time every night after dinner where you hang out with him. During this time listen keenly. Understand him. Then negotiate. laugh too. build your communication with him 2017-09-06 17:07:26
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Swapna Nair
when u understand why he uses- in this case he wants to be included in play so he behaves like a mature adult so they will consider him and impress them. Show him how he can impress otherwise. By strengthening his play skills 2017-09-06 17:08:12
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Swapna Nair
When he displays sportsmanship, use humour while playing. These will score well. 2017-09-06 17:08:50
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haan this sounds promising 2017-09-06 17:08:52
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ok.sure 2017-09-06 17:08:59
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Swapna Nair
all the best. Do not cut his play time. Rather tell him if he uses better words- or help him find substitute words- his play time can be increased over weekends. 2017-09-06 17:09:38
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My husband uses some foul langauges in home and my child uses it off and on…my husband doesn’t under....

My husband uses some foul langauges in home and my child uses it off and on…my husband doesn’t understand and I fear this is not good for my child

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Swapna Nair
Yes it is not good. Children do as we do. The home environment is important or rather most important. Plan a weekend outing with your husband. Or a special meal. After the meal when he is in a good mood, have a casual conversation. tell him you were shocked to hear him use a particular word. what can we do about it? etc etc. Then jokingly tell your husband if he can find substitute word for the slang. Use humour and some fun. Brainstorm for some coded words. So he will be motivated to use. Get him to your side. Ask him for the solution. he will feel empowered to suggest. 2017-09-06 17:14:42
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Cursing and swearing is a part of my Father-in-law's language. Though the word he uses is saala in m....

Cursing and swearing is a part of my Father-in-law's language. Though the word he uses is saala in my opinion it is not a good word to be used in front of a child. Please help what to do?

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Swapna Nair
It is not good especially the tone with which they say. But it is a difficult situation. You can broach the topic to your husband claiming it is not good for your child. But I do not know effective it would be and if he would tell his father. it may cause unpleasantness. Rather make it a point to pay a lot of attention to your child. Make an exclusive time slot of 20 minutes everyday after dinner to play with him or just hang out with him. Talk a lot. Listen to him keenly. If he broaches the topic tell him of your values. Tell him that adultstend to use to express their emotions. And that he can use other words. he need not use the same language. Share stories. Build his communication with him,. Hug him a lot. Kiss him loads so he is very close to you and you can instill values. 2017-09-06 17:19:57
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Will the word Nikkamma considered as a bad word specially if being used for a 3 and 9 year old child....

Will the word Nikkamma considered as a bad word specially if being used for a 3 and 9 year old children

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Swapna Nair
I think the word means useless or good for nothing in the crudest way. it is not a positive word at all. it is insulting and hurting. If the child is sensitive it will impact 2017-09-06 17:23:49
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I have tried doing that Swapnaji. He is quite good with eating food but the moment I bring up the to....

I have tried doing that Swapnaji. He is quite good with eating food but the moment I bring up the topic that our son is using these words, his reaction is always volatile and says that I am blaming him for the son's behaviour which being a stay at home I should have been checking.

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Swapna Nair
So be cautious of the tone and words you use. Well if this does not work, keep your son close to you. Spend an exclusive time slot of 20 minutes with him. Use this time to pay close attention, play with him and just hang out with him. he will grow close to you. You can then instill the right values gradually. You can make him understand that adults tend to use and it is not good manners. 2017-09-06 17:22:18
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I am having a difficulty in milk let down at times. And my breasts become swollen with milk but my b....

I am having a difficulty in milk let down at times. And my breasts become swollen with milk but my baby is not able to consume it. PLease help.

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My wife feels the milk she is producing is not sufficient for my baby. Please help

My wife feels the milk she is producing is not sufficient for my baby. Please help

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How to increase breast milk?

How to increase breast milk?

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How to increase breast milk?

How to increase breast milk?

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I have a diffic

I have a diffic

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My son is unable to latch. What should I do?

My son is unable to latch. What should I do?

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