A new mom’s dilemma
Created by Tejal Singh Updated on Aug 16, 2021
Before my baby arrived, during long working hours at office, my friend used to say to me that once the baby comes, you will barely like to wait after office hours to catch up with us and I used to smile thinking of it as an over-exaggeration. But after delivery things changed! At the hospital, I was totally dumbfounded for a few minutes when the doctor gave me the baby in my arms. I didn’t want to give away my baby for a minute. My baby came home and my routine started. Managing the first child single-handedly was certainly not an easy task, but, I loved it. From his massage, bath and then nappy change to feed, each day was passing full of joy. I was not concerned about the world and especially about my work. My colleagues came to meet my baby and one of them said, “Enjoy as much as you can, as after the maternity break you will have to join back.”
Suddenly, reality hit home. Yes, I have only three month left. But why? How can time fly so fast? I started thinking that I will leave my job and be a stay-at-home mother; I didn’t want to work as I couldn’t imagine leaving my son behind. My son was 5 months and there was just one more month left before I needed to join back. I was so stressed, unable to sleep or leave my baby at all. I kept thinking: I have been doing things for him, and now some other person will take care of him. Why?? But, maybe behind this there was another reason, a bigger fear, will my baby love me as much if I leave him to go to work? Will he miss me? Will he cry for me? (Being a mother, I felt when a baby cries they only miss the mom) Will he love me as I loved my mother?
The “D Day” arrived, and I cried. I left home once my baby had gone off to sleep. The first day, I called home at least 8 times in 8 hours and every time I got the answer, he is playing, he has slept, he has eaten etc. Means he didn’t miss me? What? He stayed without me? He didn’t cry?
When I reached home, and the moment the door was opened for me, he smiled, shouted, and laughed. Through his happy reaction he told me that he had missed me; he remembered me; he enjoys my company and yes, he loves our fun time together. All my doubts and fears vanished.
Today also while going office, I feel like I am missing out something. But, I know he is becoming independent and more than that even I am becoming independent. He knows it’s 6:30 and mumma will come and 7:15 papa will come. And yes, I have discovered that come what may, my baby still loves me even though he may not see me throughout the day! Such is the bond of a mother-child.
| Aug 08, 2016
nicely quoted dear... every working mother will relate to this.. reminded me of everything of my journey till now... apprehensions.. anxiety... posseeiveness.. D day... n most fullfilling... his smile when he saw me at evening everyday... :)thank u :)
| Aug 08, 2016
I have a baby girl "PARI". she is 1 year old. it's being 2 yrs am at home because doctor strictly advised me bed rest during pregnancy. now am thinking to join office again but I can't make my mind and heart to be apart from my baby. she is my world I dont know am I able to focus my mind on my work or not and if she will going to miss me how can I communicate with her. am quite worry......
| Aug 09, 2016
You really wrote almost every mothers fear... I felt like this but when he joined school.. He cried a lot when I left.. but soon started enjoying that school time, friends and now at age of 3 yrs he also tells me how much fun they had in school ? how fast he finished lunch box or even if he not liking any friend because of small fights.. I know what my father told me was right We can be reason to create their world but we have our own circle and they need to get them into new circle on their own .. We can not keep them with us all time.. but this is main reason why they love us. We gave them identity and after doing that next step is to give space to achieve their own Personality.. starting is difficult for kids and mothers both.. but that is power of this relationship this is an ultimate bond of life for both kid n mom
| Aug 10, 2016
Tejal,... you are my eye opener.. struggled a lot to speak to my in -law on getting back to job, as my cuddle (Mokshith) is jus 5 months now.. I had the fear that he might not love me as I leave him and get back to work, I speak to him about the financial pressure we have, apart from that we had to give you good education and so on... though he doesn't understand at this stage. Your blog gives me a food vibration and positive energy that Mokshith will not miss me even I get back to work..
| Aug 11, 2016
Hi Tejal, read your blog, this is the mental state of every mother actually. You wrote this and I was wondering as some is telling about me. My daughter is 23 months old now but still when I go to work, have the same fear or off mood while leaving her. However, I am very strong mother as per my husband because She has started to go to the play group at the age of 22 months. And, that was also my decision to see her strong eagerness of learning and making friends. She is fond of friends. But when she comes back from school and see me, and second round in the evening I come back and see her face gives a different kind of craze to see her and happiness. Thanks for sharing your feeling or in other words feeling of a working mother.
| Sep 18, 2016
hi, it's such a heart warming experience to read this blog... I am one among the working mother's list.. though I can see this as forward walking with strong heavy heart, I can't accept it all over... was expecting such an positive thing from any1... and this blog helped me a lot... And here is one from my side, the way we love and care our child.... the same way he will love and enjoy us..
| Sep 24, 2016
it's really nice you have mention everything. I am in the situation now, I have resigned from office when I have to rejoin when my baby was 6months now he is 10months but still I m not able to make up my mind to be away from my lovely kid. as current requirements of 8am to 8pm jobs.. let's see I m qualified professional so thinking of starting my own practice but anyhow I need to be away from him.. it was really very hard decision of resignation but for my baby I have to take. hats off to working ladies,, in current world we have to give our babies... time,,care,money,good life style ,good education, all luxuries in life... we just need to judge sequence.. thx