How to make your teen in-sync with your routine -- Tips
Created by Shweta Chopra Updated on Oct 13, 2019
Parenting is hard. And when it comes to parenting a teenager, you never know how a day is going to turn out. As a parent you worry about so many things when it comes to your teen – performance in school, hygiene and health, sexual health, emotional wellbeing, the company she keeps, her dreams and ambitions – the list is endless.
Sometimes, you might feel like when all you do is worry, and strive to maintain a balance, your teen doesn't get you. It isn't just your teen who feels like “you just don't understand!” but the reverse is absolutely true, too. Read on to find out how you can keep the communication lines open with your teen, and talk to her about your take on things.
How To Get Your Teen In-Sync with Your Routine?
The pressure of parenting seems to be rising by the hour, and you might feel like your teen knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. How do you then get him to be less difficult not just on you, the parent, but also on himself? Here are some ideas.
- Teach values: As a parent, teaching values to your child is done best by practicing what you preach. Let them know how everything that you own is earned through hard work
- Tell your child how you feel: Parents bring down the level of interaction to avoid confrontations but this only pushes you further away from each other.
- Don't bottle up your own emotions and feelings all the time. You might feel like you're protecting your child, but it only alienates your child from you
- He won't be aware of how you feel unless you tell him. Keep it simple and loving
- Be a good listener, and your child will be one, too. The next time you want to share a concern that you expect your child to understand, he will be all ears
- Turn complaints into compliments: What your teen might usually hear is what he is not doing right, or what he said was offensive, or that he is wasting his time on something.
- A loving,genuine compliment, on the other hand, boosts his morale. It reassures him of his capabilities and fills him with contentment
- Offer plenty of hugs and cuddles. Even if your teen mostly behaves like he has outgrown them, he definitely still appreciates them
- Ask your child for advice for smaller issues that don't involve him: Help your child know that you trust and seek their opinion.
- When you're faced with an issue (that doesn't concern your child in any way) ask him what he thinks you should do. This will work wonders for his problem- solving abilities
- This responsibility helps your child feel valued, and motivates him to think creatively
- Teach him how to mull over a situation instead of jumping into actions that he might regret later
- Give him responsibilities, and let go: If you've assigned tasks to your teen, let him do his thing without nagging him. Yes, it takes humongous amounts of will power to hold your tongue when all you want to do is yell at him for not doing it the way you want to. But letting him figure things out on his own is important, and micromanaging won't get you far with teaching responsibility
- Add a dash of humor: Nothing eases tension like a good laugh. When you're trying to get your teen to understand your perspective, quoting a line from his favorite sitcom will work better than sounding frustrated and anxious. And what's more – once he breaks into a smile, he's more receptive to your side of the story
- Make your child aware of his ability to choose how he feels: We all have the power to let go of things that trouble our thoughts and replace them with things which are more worthy of getting our attention. Teach your child that everything he feels is a choice he makes. He can let go of negativity, and choose to be happy
It is perfectly normal for both parents and teens to feel grossly misunderstood by each other. And when you're the adult, sulking and eye-rolling is hardly going to turn the tide for the better. So lighten things up, keep communicating with your teen, and help him build emotional strength!
How do you get your teen to see your side of things? Share your tips with us in the comments section!
| Oct 25, 2017
age is no bar for hugs. a child would always remain a child for his parents.. no matter how old he is. the communication channels should always be left open. i believe discussing our childhood as well as teenage years with our children would always work as they would understand nothing comes for free and even their parents have earned everything with hard work.. a brilliant piece of work.. Thanks Shweta Chopra for sharing this!
| Feb 04, 2017
sharing our experiences I would say also keep them in existence. normally we only discuss what had happened in past so they wll not able to connect with that. I would say lets be more open to discuss these issues. and also ask their opinions.
| Jan 27, 2017
@Jitendra Khairnar What you are saying happens when the connect between parents and child is not strong enough. Also, the idea is to teach them the value so how we narrate about our struggles to them makes a huge difference. We need to make them understand that in our times we were not blessed with technology that they have an easy access to.
| Jan 26, 2017
#Talk about your struggle?? These days children are so straight forward that after hearings the story of parents struggle they have the impression that you struggled simply because you were not competent enough or you were coward or foolish or backward thinker... We can imbibe important values by not telling them or by giving our examples or telling our story.. which they generally find monotonous and boring but by practicing, leading by example. We need to ensure that children understand that everything has value and nothing comes free, everything has cost.. other tips are useful...