Listen to the Whispers
Created by Anurima Updated on Jan 24, 2015
It was a usual morning, and my usual routine. The morning was bustling with activities with the vans ferrying the kids, moving in and out of the society gate, morning walkers speeding up, and I along with co-parents waiting for our children’s school bus to arrive. Suddenly an accidental glance inside a van shocked me. The driver kissed the girl who was sitting on the front seat.
“Let’s go and talk to her mother.” It was my spontaneous reaction. To my surprise no one agreed. One of my friends advised me: “The driver has seen us and our children. He may harm them. Besides, who knows how her mother will react. You know how weird she is. Even her daughter is not able to share the ordeal she is going through.”
From one mouth to other, the gossip floated in the society. The incidence was talked in whispers. Finally, I decided to speak to the mother. When I did, I regretted for it. I was accused of maligning the character of her daughter. Her daughter, a class VII student, silently witnessed the heated argument between us with teary eyes, but I don’t know what stopped her from speaking the truth. Defeated I return. A child was being abused and I could not do anything.
Whom to blame? I failed to protect that girl, but at least I tried. I would like to share a few tips to protect every child, and yes even the son, from such evils in the society.
Teach them: Teach your child about good and bad touch as early as possible, may be from 12-18 months. Believe me, it’s not early. A child can differentiate the touch from the day he/she is born. Your child will understand it. We have discussed tips in our previous blog: Teaching our children Good Touch Bad Touch (http://www.parentune.com/parent-blog/teaching-our-children-about-good-touch-and-bad-touch/480)
Talk to them: Don’t be in dark. Even your child can be abused. Talk to them about the probability. Tell them that physical and sexual abuse is a reality. It is not just something we read in the newspaper or listen in the news. Make them aware that if a child is being abused it is not the child’s fault and he/she should not be ashamed or afraid to talk about it.
Be a friend: A parent has to wear many hats; one is of a friend. Be a trustworthy friend of your child. Develop your relationship so that your child can come to you anytime and with any issues.
Trust them: Even if you think that he/she is making up the story, that the person in question is someone you trust, still trust the child. Children, who barely understand what is happening with them, will not lie about it. Even our court won’t ask for a proof from a child. Make your child realize that no matter what, you will trust him/her. Stand up for your child and confront the accused person.
Be Factual: Talk the fact. The abusers threaten the victims before victimizing. Make the child aware of the probable threatening. Train your child to be bold and confident. Any one of the parent should be so approachable to the child that he/she should talk about anything under the sun. Also, keep yourself well informed to be able to protect your child. Read our blog on Child Sexual Abuse: Myths and Facts to know more (http://www.parentune.com/parent-blog/child-sexual-abuse-myths-and-facts/482)
Friends and Neighbors: Don’t be just a part of gossip monger. If your friend or neighbor approaches you informing about any such incidences, believe them. No one, even a staunch enemy will assassinate the character of an innocent child ‘just like that’. Find the truth.
Bringing up a child is no child’s play. To provide a safe and secure environment is not the sole responsibility of parents. The whole neighborhood should be responsible. At the end, it is the parents call, but don’t ignore the whispers. It is always better to be safe than sorry.
| Oct 06, 2015
Good Article. Thanks for sharing. I thought my child was too young to be told about the touches, this was an eye opener for me.
| Apr 06, 2015
Great blog and well wriiten , matter of fact still many parents reacts same as you mentioned, v parents must think if that is true and v must assume it is tue even it is not , act in that matter to find the truth and protect our child and made more aware of it, keep more tracking and make ur child more comfortable with u to speak each and everything. Educate about sex abuse and be more friendly so they speak to u and dont fear from u. out society full of such sex maniac people ( neighbour, relative,servants,teacher/tutor/driver)be aware and vigilant protect our kids and expose such maniac people and put them behind bar.
| Apr 06, 2015
thankyou for such easily explained blog...... hats off.
| Mar 22, 2015
Thanks ..... Do share more of such
| Jan 29, 2015
Great .....Thanks for sharing :)
| Jan 28, 2015
Great topic and very well written Leena. Unfortunately most parents will talk among themselves and a very few have the courage of speaking to the people concerned, like you did :)
| Jan 27, 2015
good stuff. eye opening
| Jan 27, 2015
great blog. very well written too.
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