Reflections of an Urban Mum
Created by Parentune Support Updated on Aug 04, 2021
Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant, who is terrible at Math- Unknown
The day I realized I was pregnant, I was walking on cloud nine. When my doctor cautioned me to sleep as much as possible since as per her wisdom, once the baby was delivered, I would surely be sleep- deprived, I totally ignored her worldly wise words (to regret later) thinking how hard could it be to make a child sleep.
Ask me the above question now (after 1.5 years) and my answer would be – the baby’s growth is directly proportionate to the number of reasons for NOT sleeping.
It has been a year and a half and I still have sleepless nights though now the earlier simple issues of hunger and diaper change have been replaced by colic, bad dreams, “just want to play” time (the last being invariably at 4am).
This begs me to wish; whoever coined the term “sleeps like a baby” should be made to take care of one, especially in the night!!!!
There are days when I get a moment to myself I wonder about how dramatically my life has changes since my son,”Vivaan” came into our lives and that is what prompted me to write this article. Prior to Vivaan’s birth, I was the sort who loved to sleep and eat on time, and when deprived of either, I used to become like the “Dementors of Harry Potter” fame sucking the happiness out of everyone around. However, now after his birth Vivaan’s smile is enough to take me out of the cranky mood.
Through this article I realized the tremendous growth curve that I have gone through (and I am sure many of you out there will agree with me) and funnily some of them are just unbelievable ( yes, even to me).
• My fears: Before vivaan was born Cockroaches, lizards and moths would make me shriek and scream so loud that the entire colony would wonder who got hurt!! But now I am a superwoman in my son's eyes for bravely shooing away the nasty insects and reptiles of the world.
• My fears now: My fears are now more on the grounds of self doubt - Will I be able to keep Vivaan from hurting? What if I end up being a bad mother? How do I teach him the good from the bad, how do I save him from various monsters and bogeymen?
To that my wise hubby answers - No mother can be a bad mother and if you think good, good things will happen, if you think bad, bad things will happen so be positive (even if that is not your blood group- oh yes! my husband has a sense of humor)
• Me/ Us time: Before vivaan was born, I would sit comfortably on our couch with coffee at hand distance and Read, Read and Read as much as possible as many fictions as possible. Every weekend watch a movie in the theatre with hubby dearest no matter how pathetic they might be. Catch up with school friends, college friends, family, distant cousins on phone (monthly bill was never less than Rs5000, and I did not apologise for it) and last but not the least all the saas-bahu serials found an ardent follower in me.
• Me / Us time now: Reading time (when I do manage to squeeze in) involves books on good parenting, blogs on various parenting methods, Baby related sites to see if the milestone of my son is proper ( I really believe, with the kind of research I have done I would surely acquire a PhD in parenting methodology). Now we manage to see one full movie in an installment of 6-7 sittings that too only if its DVD is released. I barely have time to catch with the world on phone as a result the Phone Monthly bill is hardly more than Rs 1000 (now that is good saving)
• Shopping and going out accessories: Before vivaan came in to our lives my Handbag ‘must-haves’ included house keys, wallet, tissues, lipstick, and comb. Shopping was done at leisure and that included window-shopping and trying out various garments before actually choosing one.
• Shopping and going out accessories now: Handbag 'must haves' include house keys, wallet, 4-5 diapers, wipes, milk bottles, snacks for Vivaan, extra dress for Vivaan, Small towel for vivaan, hand sanitizer and basically any other thing that I think vivaan may need. Shopping trips Going to malls and shops happens only if required and that too with a list. Rest of the shopping is done online and home delivery (the shops that do not home deliver are struck off the list). While one of us shops the other is constantly ensuring that Vivaan does not cause catastrophe in the shop!!
• Travelling out of town: When we travelled without vivaan earlier, we would reach airport with one hour to spare, check in all the baggage and have one handbag comprising of the must haves. I would enjoy listening to music while we waited to board the flight or be happy just window-shopping. I would generously give my seat in the bus to mothers with kids and senior citizens. There was one time, my seat was continuously kicked by a joyful 18 months old, i scowled at the obvious apologetic parents( I am not so proud of that; now).
• Travelling out of town now: It is almost funny now, we reach airport with more time to spare (though I always end up feeling hurried), running behind Vivaan takes most of the time and keep an eye on him (what if he gets kidnapped or lost or hurts himself bad by falling down the escalator -I am paranoid like that, can you blame me, I am a mum) The slight upside however is that I end up getting seat to sit but now I am the proud recipient of scowls from ladies because of my vociferous child is joyfully kicking-the-seat. I apologize meekly and whisper into Vivaan's ears "I love you sonny boy -keep shouting and kicking hard as much as you want for once you grow up you just wont get to do so ;-)
So yes if one asks me; would I do that all over again? - 8 hrs of labor, sleepless nights, packing suitcases just for a trip to the mall, the paranoia ... then my answer would always be Yes, yes and yes because at the end of the day, after all the mess, histrionics, screaming and tantrums I also get tight hugs, laughter and a house which is now a home:-)
Finally I would like to share something that I read and it has reassured me on more than one Occasion-
Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” ? Benjamin Spock
| Nov 11, 2014
Great article. I can very easily relate this article with my life. Being a mother of 3 years old twin boys is not easy... Hats off to all the mothers... I enjoy every bit of being a mother and no matter how hectic the day has been, I always get the love in double to make me relax and have a sound sleep... :) God bless