Parenting

Afraid of being angry

Riya M
3 to 7 years

Created by
Updated on Sep 28, 2016

my daughter is 3 yes old n I just get fed up vth all day work n her tantrums ...which result into anger ...I start shouting at her for not listening n obeying... BT nw a days she is not bother at all I keep shouting n reaction is as like m talkg n shoutg to wall... she does whatever she wana too say don't wana mummy papa.. I tried to be friendly to her ...tried to control my anger frustration s many time... BT I dnt get a way to deal vth her.... plz show me sum way...

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Riya M

| Oct 06, 2016

I did all d thing I didn't shout on her controlled my anger BT I feel its too late nw till she was 1 n half yes old she was attached towards me BT now she is mine only til I listen n do's wht she wants... she don't even sleep vth me she say u go inside n I vil sleep out alone vth teddy nw such thgs r happening like she don't wana me completely... plz gv me soln ...

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Dr Pooja AttreyPT

| Sep 28, 2016

that only.... baby don't realize their mistakes when you shout on them... either they will rebel or they will be afraid.. slowly they will feel a distance from you.. they will stop feeling your love if what you show them is anger by shouting.. whatever she does or whenever u deal with her.. just just remind yourself first that you love her... you don't have to push her away in name of discipline... win her with love.. that's the sure way to get things done with kids.. I tried it with my baby many times.. if I say him something n he ignores.. next time I say it with more love in my voice n little firmness.. n max times.. he obeys.. when he obeys I say thank u or applaud him to reinforce this behavior.. and it works.. also there's a grt article written by shikha on disciplining kids with love on this site.. please read that too..

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Riya M

| Sep 28, 2016

thank you shikha n dr pooja for all ur help... I vil work on it... BT as I shout on her she say "hw u get angry on me" jb k I wana realize her DAT d things she goes wrong n misbehave... n find my brother in law more lovable Dan me n she is attached to him... she stayd vth DM leaving me n whenever he cums home she is just like mom dad u go ...I vil go vth thouji I CNT wana u both... DAT sounds terrible to me... jb k he cums rarely at home after d joint family separated... n he n his wife r not much bother for her... dy r jt mean

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Shikha Batra

| Sep 28, 2016

hi Riya! hope u r doing good!! I appreciate your concerns and your desire to bring change in u. a parent raises her tone or looses her tempers when even repeated reminders fall on deaf ears. avoid taking it personally as may be the child didn't even hear what u wanted her to do. it is advisable to look for what you child is engrossed with at that moment. say for example u want your child to stop watching TV and change her dress. but she is just not ready to budge. may be when u told her to listen to u for the first or second time she didn't even pay attention. Riya you could go near her, take her in your lap , kiss her forehead and tell her ' baby in another 5minutes u should change your clothes, Mommy has made such tasty yummy delicious food for u. we will have it together on the dinner table. ' Try nailing it with Love . Hug her, praise her when she listens to u. also when u talk make an eye contact and make sure she is listening to u. As far as taming your anger is concerned it's advisable to take a break for an hour or so everyday and do what u have always wanted to do. Say for example: talk to a friend on phone, join a hobby class, do exercise or dance /sleep/write a book, go to salon and pamper yourself etc. so do whatever makes u feels good in that one hour when your child is away in school. but once she is back remind yourself every few minutes u will not shout on her, and pat your back if u r able to do so for even first few hours . gradually that feeling will sink in and you would learn to deal with her with love and more love. hugs to u. tkcare.

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Dr Pooja AttreyPT

| Sep 28, 2016

patience dear.. that's what u need... nothing is wrong with ur kid.. she is an explorer at this age.. would want to try any n everything that will catch her interest.. if it's gd or bad for her.. she can't help that! you need to work on yourself.. cut out the stress factors if there are any.. work on your temper.. take some time to do what u like.. do meditation if u can.. only when you will be at ease n peace than u can have stress free... n blissful parenthood... good luck

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