Awkward situation+ START A PARENT TALK
Hi friends. i live in a joint family and that is why my 3 year old son sleeps with us only. wetake care of it that only after he is slept we make any intimacy. but since few days i have been noticing my son touching me weirdly and asking questions about my body parts and then i talked to him and came to know that one night he saw it. now i dont know how to educate him about sex life at such a small age. How to tell him that he should not touch anybody's body parts and why is it wrong as he has seen his role model father doing the same. please help me in this awkward problem by ur suggestions
| Aug 14, 2013
Thanx shikha & gaurima!! Hope all this works out well :)
| Aug 14, 2013
Dear Avi, I understand how you must be feeling in this situation. First of all... acknowledge the fact that - you don't know what your child has exactly seen. It may be 5 min of the act or some more or some less. Secondly your child is very small and open to take any suggestion from you, so you can give meaning to the whole thing in a positive way. You may recite him a story about with some interesting characters like that of your own joint-family. In the story you may tell that how a very good child named XYZ always did as his mother tell him to do. His mother had told him that children should not watch elders doing some things like - changing clothes, going to the washroom to do ------- or when they are in the room with the lights closed. And if he would watch such things he will stop growing (you can say any other consequence). Then one day that boy saw his grandmom going to the loo - and the power in the boys body became half and he became smaller than his friends. Then once again that boy saw mumma and papa together when the lights were closed - his power became zero and next day he lost all matches in the school. The boy became very sad ... n cried a lot ... then his mum took him in the lap and asked him to draw a fairy/gennie and promise to the fairy/gennie that he will never do such things again and would throw whatever he has seen out of his head. The boy thew all junk away and slept. Next morning his power came back and he hugged his mom. and then on he became the BEST boy who never watched elders when he shouldn't. end of the story. you may leave the room for a while and come back and don't resume the same topic. It's highly possible that he might forget everything or just drop it consciously. If he brings up the topic again just remember that he is 3 and you can remind him of the story and assure him that all his questions will be answered some now and some after some time. HOPE THAT HELPS :)
| Aug 14, 2013
Hi Avi! It is a serious matter and I can understand ur concerns regarding this. What has happened has happened we need to take corrective steps now. It is advisable that u cud build up a story by taking boy doll saying this is papa and a girl doll saying this is mama and a baby doll saying this is him. All three love each other very much. Mama loves papa, papa loves mama n they both love him. N they express their love for him by hugging n kissing him. Similarly they express their love for each other in a similar way. But it is not right to express their love with anybody else in this manner as they wud not like it. When he touches u or asks q's regarding body parts u cud simply say God has made our body like this and we should respect it by not touching it where mama says u should not. The more u wud avoid this more will be his curiosity and self interpretation which could be wrong . By answering his questions and telling him the right behavior u cud end this matter here. Unsolvd q's cud make him grow up confused, curious and disturbed regarding this issue. So nip it in the bud. Answers should be such that it conveys the message in words which are easier for a child to understand and comprehend. With time he should forget. Hope this helps!