Parenting

Child Behavior

Veenus
1 to 3 years

Created by
Updated on Nov 22, 2013

Hi All, My Daughter is 4 years old, and I am a working mother. She is presently going to a play school in Nursery. From past one week, me and my husband are observing that she has started lying for almost everything. I mean,even if she knows that the incident happened in front of us and that we know the truth,still she will lie and will keep smiling. But the problem is,she lies about whatever happens in the school. e. g. We got a circular in the diary that we need to purchase her winter uniform, (which we were not keen for, as the same is not compulsory in the school). But she told us, that her mam has told her to tell us that we need to purchase the winter uniform. And, today she forgot her water bottle in the school and is lying to me that her class mate has hit her. I am scared that this may result in something serious, and i am not able to make her understand the consequences of lying. please advise.

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Veenus

| Nov 26, 2013

As you all have advised, I will spend time with my daughter and will try to share our daily experiences. And, will persuade her to speak the facts slowly. Thanks All.

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Veenus

| Nov 26, 2013

Thanks Geetha, Thanks Anurima & thanks Anandana !! Thanks all for your support. I was really very disturbed with the fact that my daughter is lying. But now, after reading your feedback and advise, trust me, I am feeling comfortable and good. Thanks to parentune. com for making this forum.

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Veenus

| Nov 26, 2013

Thanks Geetha, Thanks Anurima & thanks Anandana !! Thanks all for your support. I was really very disturbed with the fact that my daughter is lying. But now, after reading your feedback and advise, trust me, I am feeling comfortable and good. Thanks to parentune. com for making this forum.

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Anandana N

| Nov 25, 2013

Yup agreed with Anurima. Its just a pass. All she needs your attention as she hardly gets to see you people. Work with her well and tell her fairy tales to help her understand that we have to say what is the fact and do not talk to her about lying. Keep it subtle and tell her the positive side and not the fact that she is lying and she should not.

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Anurima

| Nov 25, 2013

Hey Veenus, I also have a 4 year old and have faced a similar situation some time back. What I have realized is that children at this age do not really understand the concept of truth and lie. For them it is fascinating, in a way, to create a new story and they really do not think about the consequences at all. So if you feel that your child is saying something other than what actually has happened, keep calm and ask her over and over again what the real story is. If you get angry, shout or punish her, then this could get out of hand and she will cook up stories to hide serious issues or mistakes involving her. Once you are back home and are in a relaxed mood, sit with her and discuss your day and hers too. This way, she will tell how things went at school/ home and little instances will come to light. Then you may go on to say how your day was at work.. This will make her feel responsible and grown up and she will surely enjoy this little quality time with you. Then you may take this opportunity (when she is really listening) and tell her the importance to sharing instances as they have occurred and not make up stories and why is it better to tell the truth.. I think an honest, open and a friendly chat will works even with a 4 year old. Good luck :)

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Geetha

| Nov 25, 2013

My son age is 8, still he will try to hide the things or mistakes. But he will not keep long time. I am working mother and try to spend more time with him.

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Parentune Support

| Nov 25, 2013

Veenus- this article is not an exact mapping to your concern, but still may help to get a perspective. https://www.parentune.com/parent-blog/teen-speak-teens-share-why-they-resort-to-lying/252

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Veenus

| Nov 25, 2013

Good idea Reema !! thanks !! will cook up a similar story n will narrate to her .

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Reema

| Nov 23, 2013

i think d famous "sher aaya sher aaya" story May help u make Her understand d importance of truth

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Veenus

| Nov 22, 2013

Thanks for your advise Sunitha... I just pray that this phase ends soon...

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Sunitha A

| Nov 22, 2013

At the age of 4, most of the kids do this i feel we should ignore it to a certain extend and make her understand the importance of telling you the truth. My daughter is 5 now and I too had faced but it slowly fades off.

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