Created by Updated on Jan 27, 2016
Hi ,My daughter is 5 year old. I am working mother and live with my mother in law and husband. My mother in law take cares of my daughter when i am not around. After coming from office,i usually spent my time with her,helping her finishing her homework,play with dolls,paper folding origami and many other activities. Her father make sure to take her park and play football and other games on weekends. Altogether we love her and sometime people around us quotes"over pampered child". After brief introduction, I would share my problem, She doesn't obey us,she says bad words to other children,she want to play with other toys,will make sure not to take her things in the park. She is very possessive about her things ,she hide her things when her friends comes to our home. She not likes any children to visit her house and feel restless when somebody comes. I make her understand in many ways in the form of story example but seems all are not working. Now these days i started loosing temper and gets angry on her if i came to know about her behavior from her grandmother. What i observed she wants to do what she likes. I am worried about my behavior too,I am losing my tamper and started yelling on her,when she throws tantrum and doesn't want to obey basic things which we can expect from our daughter. I hope i am able to express my problem,although its difficult to express home atmosphere and people around her which plays an important role. And worth mentioning here she is a single child and lovable to us,and gets pampered by all the family members. I request to please help me to come out of this situation.
| Jan 27, 2016
Hi Manu! U have shared yr concerns quite well. I believe child has seen some negative examples being followed around her like hiding or not sharing things or use of bad words. I would advise u to set examples by sharing your things with poor and needy to begin with. Say from example donating clothes/blankets/ food/toys with poor kids. u could ask her to segregate on her own few toys which she doesn't play with anymore and she could give these to needy kids on her own. In my case i keep warm clothes and other stuff in my car and ask my kids to give it to the needy as and when we see them. Also on her birthdays she could feed poor kids. Tell her the benefits of sharing and the happiness one gets. Please don't force her to share her toys with her friends that would make her further against the idea. But let her know since she is not sharing her toys with friends, she should not play with theirs as well. Wait till she herself understands the value of sharing after watching family members. let her know how use of bad words or inappropriate behavior can hurt others. At home when she helps u or listens to u or shares her belongings,talks nicely or behaves well, praise her and let others know how good she was today. This would reinforce and motivate her to continue doing good behavior. I know it's difficult but control yr tempers Manu as that would only complicate things . I am sure with good examples being set around her,yr love,praise and motivation she would soon come around. hope this helps!
| Oct 07, 2016
Hi, this is the situation most of the parents will face. these are all common in children. please try to find out from where she is learning bad words means in school or at home or from neighbours. once in a while you call your friends to your home and prepare the food by saying that my friends are coming we will do some special items. as shikka said donate something or if possible frequently you do share with your neighbours some fruits or chacolates or curries prepared by you. why because few kids will observe their parents behaviour. maximum time you will not be available to your kid so might be thinking that she has to take of her belongings and not to give her toys to anyone. ask her to help you are need and praise her.. make her to do things on her own. when she sleeps play gayathri mantra near to her which will makes her mind fresh and clean. hope this helps you little.