Child does not listen
Created by Updated on Dec 21, 2014
I have a 3. 5 yr old daughter and recently she has stopped listening to me totally. Even when in the park, other mothers will tell their children to come, she will not listen to me. SHe does not listen to my husband also. no threats, scoldings, help. she just doesnt listen to her parents. pls advise.
| Dec 21, 2014
Hi dear Priyanka! It happens when we keep on making empty threats. for example if u say to the child every time 'if u don't do this u will be punished' bUT we actually do not do that. so the child stops taking us seriously. I am not telling u to be harsh and strict and actually start punishing the child. I would advise u to adopt a different approach . No matter what don't lose ur tempers. Very politely tell u r child that(taking leaving park example) u will be leaving in 5 minutes as it is getting late. Come to consensus how much more time she wants to play. Give a reminder in between this much time is left. And when time is over politely tell the child that the time decided is over. Praise the child for confirming to stipulated time. U cud sometimes relax u r rules too. if u wud start u r conversation with raised tone and anger in no time u would reach a deadlock. So try this change and do not let u r tempers rise no matter what as chances are child might also reply back in anger or shout. IN case child still doesn't listen do give punishment as u wud have mentioned like not talking to the child for one or two hours. Sometimes love works better than anger. hope it works in ur case too.
| Dec 21, 2014
I would Like to further add -hugging and praising ur child often for positive action works wonders. Children keep looking for approval and motivation from two people who mean the world to them: their parents. So be her support and keep guiding her through ur love and motivation .
| Dec 22, 2014
Hi Priyanka, Before leaving home for the park, you explain to your child what is expected of her. Tell her that we need to leave after an hour playing in the park or before it gets dark. Explain why you want to get back home early- you have work or it's time for her dinner or it's not safe to stay alone in the park. Give her the exact reason and Tell her what the consequence would be if she doesn't follow it like you wont take her to the park the next day. I wanted to write exactly what shikha said and I completely agree with that Empty threat wont work. Because the child would know that you are anyway not going to follow it through and the child would take you for granted and would continue to do what she wants to. So 5 minutes before it's time to leave, let her know she has 5 mins to wind up and go home. So she will be prepared to leave the park- make up her mind, say good bye to friends etc. If she doesn't listen, you skip the trip to the park for a day. Try the same the day after it and be consistent. She would soon understand that mom means it when she says no and she would start listening to you.