Created by Updated on Jul 29, 2017
My son is 4 yrs & 9 months old. Initially when he was little younger he used to be very good in every respect i. e in behaviour, in listening to others, in daily routine work. But as he is growing he is getting stubborn, aggressive, fighting with others, sometime beating others, not listening at all, always say NO whenever we ask him to do. We live in joint family. Sometime he wants to play or live with his cousins or sometime he doesn't want them to be over there. So,other family member i. e his cousin's mother doesn't like him at all. I made him understand by love, anger, in punishment way or sometime slapped him, but it didn't work. I m really very much frustrated & fed up & don't understand how to deal with the situation. This is the request to show me the way in this regard. Thanx
| Jul 29, 2017
hi Dimple! I do comprehend your concern. consider this case if the cousin of his had been your own child , would u have worried this much? children would fight, play, patch up only to fight again so this is normal part of their growing up. if adults would fight over this , or make an issue out of it then there is something wrong with us and not children. as far as his hitting , beating others and getting aggressive is concerned, please find out is he being compared with his cousin often, is he being scolded because of him or is he being nagged to much to be like him by you or others ? if that's the case this aggression is explainable as your child thinks his cousin is responsible for whatever he is going through. talking to ur child won't help much as he won't change unless and until things around change. I would suggest u to take two steps. one : avoid comparisons between them, two : avoid scolding one for another. Dimple just to show ur sis-in-law , u r upset too with his this behavior, don't hit or embarrass your child as that would have an impact on his self esteem. just change the topic, or add humour to it when they are fighting to take away heat from the situation. I am sure when adults would stop giving attention to such episodes , children would avoid seeking negative attention by hitting each other. hope this helps!
| Jul 29, 2017
Thank u so much for showing me d way. But I never compare my son with his cousin, moreover whenever they fight in front of me I never be partial for my child. Whoever is wrong I just give the warning to him or her but when they fight in d presence of my sis in law she always be in favour of her child by giving d excuse that her child is younger than my son. She always scolds my son inspite of that my son never shows disrespect to her. I discussed about this a lot of time with her but all in vain. She doesn't want her child to play with him but both of them want to. I don't think it's good to make them separate. I hope u understand my situation & give me the advice accordingly. Thanx
| Jul 29, 2017
Dimple I can just say on this you be nice to her child. children need just love , his cousin will on her own come to u and your son to play . in that case she won't be able to stop her child . never scold or beat your child , shower your love equally on both children . sometimes by not replying also things settle down , or other way is to add humour to it. hope this helps!