Parenting

Comparison of Children

Sneha
3 to 7 years

Created by
Updated on Aug 12, 2015

My Mother in law compares my son to my sis-in-law's (her daughter) kids. As per her, my sis-in-law's kids are more intelligent, more creative, more sporty, excel in everything and my son is good for nothing. This is very irritating and i have started to develop a not so good feeling for her and her kids. I had a very good relations with my sis in law but my mother in law is spoiling that. Even my son is not so bad in studies but he loves playing more, good in sports. What should i do? Should i also do comparison? is this type of comparison healthy?

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Shikha Batra

| Aug 23, 2015

Thanks Anurima!

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Anurima

| Aug 19, 2015

Very well said Shikha. So true!

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Shikha Batra

| Aug 12, 2015

Hi Sneha! Since it is not a great idea to compare two different plants as they are different on these parameters : variety, conditions they are exposed to such as amount of light, amount of water or type of water such as hard water or soft water, mineral water , etc. , whether u manure them or not. Even if the plants belong to a same person and are of same type,one cannot ensure they will grow in equal length and will have flowers on both. This analogy is drawn to explain when even siblings who have same genetic pool (nature) and are living under same conditions (nurture) could be completely different from each other. It would be wrong on our part to compare two children who are completely different from each other on all parameters. I hope u would understand and appreciate this logic. Since yr mother in law is not so well informed about this, it would be in the interest of the child to ignore this discussion. this discussion could have an impact on his self esteem. U should not have hard feelings for yr Sil and her kids as they have no role to play in this. It's just lack of understanding on yr mil's part which is creating all this stress between relations. Be proud of yr child and love him the way, u always have.

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Parentune Support

| Aug 12, 2015

Hi Sneha, Pls refer to this blog- https://www.parentune.com/parent-blog/why-you-should-never-compare-your-children/541

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