Does not communicate with grandparents and outsiders

7 to 11 years

Created by Manish
Updated on Jun 28, 2015

My 9 yr old son does not communicates (or jus basic talks) with his grandparents though its been 5 yrs since we moved with them. Also he is little shy talking to other relatives and friends but very takative with us (mom n dad)and my neice and nephew

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| Jul 01, 2015

Hi Bindu! My son was little hesitant with me too but I jus made a point to treat him like my buddy... Friday nite he is allowed to sleep in our room with us. Just identity their intrests and try spending more time with them..... take them to movies ...or dine out.... Dont be a MOM but jus FRIEND

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| Jun 30, 2015

Hi,this is bindu. my son is8yrsn daughter is 3yr .He is shy. He doesn't talk to me or his dad .i am thinking I might be wrong in communicating as both ma kids don't tell me much about them selves. Or may be I don find time to ask or what I don't know. some times it makes me worry

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| Jun 30, 2015

Indeed. it helped Carol! Thanks for such a nice and detailed input.

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| Jun 29, 2015

Hi Manish, To some extent it also depends on how his grandparents are with him or what they talk about, with him. Do they talk about his interest? Do they play with him? Do they take him out? Do they get involved in his activities? Do they talk about his friends? Your son talks to you and his cousins because he knows you very well and he has many things common with his cousins. But with elders, it's quiet different. Their expectation of too much of discipline will also affect their relationship. Let him spend more time with them (in the absence of the parents) Remove all the other distractions such as hand held devices or TV. They could go out for dinner or museum or zoo. Let them spend a day together. Let them discuss some common things that interest him. I faced the same problem a few years back with my son who is 9 now. The common interest such as dogs, chess, books, action movie characters made it easier for them to connect with him. In case of friends and relatives, before you go to meet them, tell him the names of the family members, how they are related to you, show some pictures of them, some memorable incidents about them, about the children in the family, their age, school etc. knowing a little about them helps to some extent. When they call over the phone, give him a chance to at least say a hello. Sometimes children hesitate or do not know how to react when they meet strangers. Be a role model. Talk to people you know and do not avoid them even if they are not too close. Because it might give him an impression that it's ok to ignore people if He doesn't know them well. You could do role play at home to make him learn what to say when he meets someone. Teach him to use words to even say yes or no answer. nodding the head is never an answer. Make him say hello to the security guard in the apartment, the assistant of the shop you regularly visit, to the neighbours passing by. It will make him feel comfortable and confident in meeting strangers or people who are not very close. Hope it helps.

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