Drinking in front of Children
Created by Updated on Jan 03, 2013
Hi friends. I have been wondering about this one for some time and would love to hear your views. We all have parties and get togethers with friends and family and alcohol does feature in many happy gatherings. While earlier when my child was younger, the thought that they are watching never really bothered too much, as we could simply tell them these are 'adult drinks'. But now as my kid reaches teens, I am wondering what is the appropriate thing to do here. To completely stop having drinks when they are around, which is not really possible since we as parents love to have parties where kids can also hang around, you may agree. Just worrying about the day when he may walk up to me and tell me ' you also do it!" Please share your thoughts, thanks!
| Jan 05, 2013
Hey Neetu. We too enjoy going for parties and gathering as a family and of course, alcohol is a common sight in those gatherings. We are currently at the 'adult drinks' stage with our daughter and reading your post here, made me wonder on how we could handle such a situation when the need arises. Your question actually took me back to my childhood. My siblings and I remember watching our parents have a drink or two from a very young age and they always answered our questions with regards to drinks. Once we were older, maybe in our early teens, my dad had told us about more about the drinks- effects on health, consequences if one drinks too much and how drinking is a personal choice and it should be done within limits and responsibly. Among all the things he had told my sister and me, one point I clearly remember is that we must never drink on the sly or deny having had a drink (to my parents) as doing anything as such would create an air of mistrust between us. We really took his advice on board. Now whenever we go out to dine with family and friends, we all enjoy our drinks together. There are no inhibitions or discomfort between the older generation, including my uncles and aunts, and us. I am sure to follow the same approach towards this matter with my children. I hope my answer here will help in some way. Also, I am sure you are more of a 'pro active' parent than a 'reactive' parent and will handle this matter well with your son as you have been doing with any other sensitive issue :)
| Jan 05, 2013
super, thanks Anurima. Whatever you have said here makes sense to me, imagine something that your father shared with you and your siblings is actually going to help me. thanks for taking the time to share your own experience. Will definitely remember these words.
| Jan 07, 2013
hey Neetu , i concur with anurima here, i would like to add that while growing up my folks had laid down the age limit for everything , and that meant we had to qualify agewise in order to do any new thing for example ,going to the shop next door to buy maggi was age 10, riding a bike on the road in traffic was age 14, going alone to the school to play basketball in the evening was 12 ( for me but only if my 15 year old sister would accompany me), Buying clothes that we liked was 16, we were told that the age was predecided as the child is ready in mind and body at that particular age , the same goes for alcohol , we were told that at 18 we could try and taste but that too at home and then decide and make an informed choice but our choice ( whatever might it be) will be accepted if we were 21 years old. i thought it was fair and there was no question of doubt there...
| Jan 08, 2013
hey, At my home my parents always told us that there are some things that we can enjoy (responsibly) only with our earnings and drinking definitely topped the list. My father always said " people who use someone else's money for entertainment will never know the value of money"
| Jan 08, 2013
Thanks Bhavna and Rekha. Aren't these beautiful words from our parents. What's more beautiful is that I will be benefitting from something you were told years back. Thanks for sharing. In fact in my house it was only my lovely dad who had the occasional drink so the topic was taboo. I am glad to have shared it here !
| Jan 08, 2013
Hey Neetu, thanks for bringing up this topic. I too have learnt a lot from what Bhavna and Rekha have said. Questions such as these may be asked by our kids at any age, its all the more important for us to be equipped with the answers and of course, honest and practical ones :)