How to convince for adoption??

All age groups

Created by Aiswarya Mukherjee
Updated on Sep 16, 2015

I am a mother of a three year old daughter and I live in a huge joint family with 2 mother in laws and 2 father in laws, one younger brother in law and a sister in law. My family is fairly conservative on the terms of adoption. Though I have never directly asked them or discussed this matter, my husband says no one will agree to it. I can have biological children so that makes it extra difficult. It has been a joy filled ride to bring up my daughter but I always wanted a boy. And I wanted to adopt for several reasons.. my first was normal delivery and it was damn painful.. second and bigger reason I might not have a noy even I attempt it. I dont like to have chances on something I am doing for the second time and its not a game for me. I cannot afford a child right now but for another two years down the lane I would like to adopt a boy and I would really like to make my husband and others in the family agree to my dreams too. Any and all advices plz welcome.

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| Sep 18, 2015

You can share evidences from others who you know stating a child's environment makes up for 85% of his personality.

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| Sep 17, 2015

I second Teena on her point. You need to get your husband fully confident about this. On personal thoughts, i request you to give a second thought to the whole idea. I have two boys and thought of the same idea to adopt a girl child. Dropped it as many advised that the children may not accept her whole heartedly and if so there will be serious issues between them in the future. I felt that is worth a thought and took a sad but bold decision to drop the idea. Good luck to you.

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| Sep 16, 2015

Hi Aishwarya! Please read this blog by Aditi. You may want to connect with her as well on parentune and get a perspective on this.

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| Sep 16, 2015

Hi Aishwarya, In India people still doesn't understand and accept the concept of adoption. For that you have to prepare yourself and your husband first. First of all, you have to be prepare yourself to accept the biased behavior of family members towards both the kids. Very small things also makes a difference. What if others members will give more love to your daughter, what if they'll appreciate your daughter more for her good work and give reasons like this is in her blood, or she is good at this like papa, mama etc. I have seen this happening in cases of adoption. the adopted child feels demotivated and start getting inferiority complex. Pls think of adoption only if you can manage to give everything equal to both the kids that may be love, care , respect, rights or anything. Discuss this with your husband and take him in confidence then only you'll be able to convince other members too.

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