Child Psychology and Behaviour

interaction and playing

Babitha Babithasree
3 to 7 years

Created by
Updated on Dec 03, 2017

my son is 3 yrs 10 months old .he is a single child and while playing with frnds some people are pinching and making him fall or catching him with more force .how should tell my son to not play with them and it is not good I think so . some of his friends will come to house they will break all d toys my son will share toys but other they hesitate to share how can I face the situation

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Carol

| Dec 03, 2017

Hi Babitha, conflicts like pushing, shoving, pinching are not something new. We all have been there, gone through or even might have done too. It's part of growing up. Esp children of age 3 or 4 are still learning to play in a group, learning to share and take turns. Some children learn faster and some take time. But that doesn't mean you let your child get hurt. You could teach your child to say no to the other child who hurt him. Teach him to look in the eye and say the words sternly like " Stop pinching me. It hurts and I don't like it". Teaching your child to defend, helps him in your absence. Because these incidents can happen anywhere - in school, in a group activity, in neighbourhood, in a party. And you can't protect your child all the time. But never ever teach your child to hit or push the other child back. In case if the other child continues to hurt him, he can seek adults' help. If it happens in your presence, don't jump in immediately as it will only make your child come to you even fr smaller things. So wait a moment and see how your child handles the situation. If he can't, you can intervene and tell the other child to play nice. You don't have to be rude. Say it in a tone you would use to speak to a child. " You can't pinch him. It Hurts him and See how it makes him sad. Will you play nice from now?".. get an assurance. it's perfectly ok to tell the other child to stop hurting your child. And also give an assurance to your child that you are available when he needs you. Telling your child to stop playing with that child will not help him to learn to handle the situation and it will only make him label the other child as bad. In my opinion it's not right too. Similarly when his friends are planning to come home to play, you can ask your child in advance whether he is ready to share all his toys. In case if you see that certain toy is very expensive or if he is very possessive of certain toy and if you think that the children can damage it, you could explain to your child to keep it away. After they come home, you could set some boundaries like telling the children to ask permission from your child to play with it. Similarly when your child goes to others' house you could have the same rule. "No touching of any toys if it doesn't belong to you but ask for permission ". When he sets an example, the other children will follow it too. If you see them being unruly at your place, it is ok to say that it's not the way to play or handle things. Again you don't have to be rude. Make your expectations clear. Most of the time we hesitate to say No or what we don't like. We don't have to suffer in silence. Learn to say No, but in a polite way, you can handle the situation well. Good luck.

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Shikha Batra

| Dec 03, 2017

hi babitha babithasree! u can try and explain him that no one has the right to hit him or harass him or trouble him but if someone does he can report the matter to a trusted adult.. here is a blog, u would find useful! please go through the link given below. Hey! I find this parent blog really interesting. I suggest you have a look too: https://www.parentune.com/parent-blog/bullying-in-children-an-underrated-harassment-part-1/643?ptref=sa0l000030g00hv and Hey! I find this parent blog really interesting. I suggest you have a look too: https://www.parentune.com/parent-blog/bullying-in-children-how-can-you-help-your-child/644?ptref=sa0l000030g00hw

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