Lack of confidence

3 to 7 years

Created by Radhika Rohan Khedekar
Updated on Aug 18, 2015

My daughter gets conscious in a new place and around new people.. takes lot of time to gel. Doesn't learn a cycle with fear of falling n someone laughing at her.. Hv tried to speak to her but in vain.. please guide.

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| Aug 19, 2015

My daughter is 6 Shikha.. but thanx a ton for the inputs

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| Aug 19, 2015

Hi Radhika! I believe yr child to be between 3 to 7 years, however exact age would have helped in an age appropriate response. We need to understand Shyness is a personality trait and is not something child is doing intentionally. So in order to help the child overcome it in a step by step process we first need to accept it is not a problem but can become one at a later stage if not dealt with appropriately. Try out following strategies : 1. Please avoid labeling the child as 'shy' in front of others. If she is not interacting u could just say ' she is more comfortable with known people'. 2. U could share with yr child how u were not comfortable in front of strangers as a child. How gradually u came out of yr shell. 3. Expose her to unfamiliar situations. For example taking her to park,malls, hobby classes, at relatives house etc. 4. Talk to a group of her friends. seeing u comfortable with strangers/ her age mates she would also try interacting with them. 4. U could prompt her to introduce herself by saying ' DEAR tell yr name, '' how old are you? "5. praise her for a reply in front of them but do not scold or criticize her in front of them for no reply. 6. Initate a talk with them(her friends) by saying ' what do u plan to play now? Reply -say 'cycling ' yr comment 'oh she loves it, don't u baby?' This way she would begin with a nod and start communicating 7. Set a goal to talk to at least one stranger say yr friend or her father's friend or their children everyday. 8. Reward her with her favorite dish,smiley ,praise,hugs etc. 9. Motivate her to display her strengths in front of guests /relatives/ friends, with her permission. 10. Tell her how good she was while interacting with them. 11. Make sure no one teases her or laughs at her. This step by step process might take months or two time . She needs yr empathy and love. Tell her it's OK to make mistakes and then learn from those. If someone laughs at her,it is because they are confused themselves what reaction to give and laughter comes easily so they choose a wrong response for this situation. This doesn't mean she is at fault. Hope this will help!

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