Parenting

me and hubby-difference in opinion

Aastha
1 to 3 years

Created by
Updated on Apr 08, 2015

hi ,me and my husband are both working. my son is an year old who goes to a good day care. the scene is my husband doesnt like the home messed up when he is back. since my son has just started to walk,he throws things around .and when i say no or take the things back from him,he starts to cry,so i hand it back to him knowingly that it will make the house messy. may be i am sounding mad but i cant see him crying .also i feel till the time he isnt given enough liberty to do things,he wont learn it too. how does he learn without touching things?i feel this is a part of his growing up. my husband is of an opinion that this makes the home messy and this is no way to give him independence or make him learn. since both of us r working,i feel that evening is the only time to play with him,so i dont stop him anytime. do u think this independence is not required for his growth,or if i continuously nag him or tell him to not do things will hamper his growth. pls suggest!

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aastha

| Apr 09, 2015

right anurima!

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Anurima

| Apr 08, 2015

Dear Aastha, you have got some valuable suggestions already. Here I would say that both you and your husband are right- you wish to relax and spend time with your child and at the same time your husband feels that he should learn things like tidying up already. It is always better to help your child understand the importance of organizing his things after playtime. So let him make a little mess but make tidying up too a fun activity. let it be a game all 3 of you play. Once he gets the idea, it will become a habit and believe me, it will save you from some shouting and stressing about the mess later as he is older ;)

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aastha

| Apr 08, 2015

thnx shikha:)

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Shikha Batra

| Apr 08, 2015

Hi Aastha! I would like to share my personal experience. My LO has the habit of throwing away things just like yr child. Once I got really angry at her after seeing the house all messed up. My older one was watching this scene. After a while she came to me and said "mumma what's important to u- yr kids or yr house cleanliness. I had no words to answer that question. One needs to understand kids have stages. since the child has just learnt to walk, it's time for him to explore the world on his twos. Scolding him won't b the wise thing to do as this would snub his curiosity to explore and being independent which are imp for his further development . U cud try doing following things :1. Keep precious stuff at a height out of reach of child. 2. Teach him how to put back toys after playing. I know it's too early. But everyday practice would make him learn. 3. Keep safe things around say balls made of cloth, unbreakable toys such as stuff toys. 4. Spend time with him by reading picture books, singing rhymes, taking himy to the park on weekends, etc. 5. Involve yr hubby in the activities. This will strengthen the bond between two. 6. give him colorful blocks, books and other toys in a separate play area say a small tent Till u shift to a new house. ALLOW him explore the world as this would facilitate cognitive development, language development, fine and gross motor development, and sharpen his senses. hope this helps!

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aastha

| Apr 08, 2015

thnx teena. ya we r planning to go for a bigger house and have a seperate area for him

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