Child Psychology and Behaviour

My child is too arrogant

7 to 11 years

Created by
Updated on Sep 12, 2015

He always starts shouting when ever something is not of his choice. Even during studies he becomes arrogant and starts crying whenever I scold him for not studying or learning properly. He has no patience and wants everything at once he demands.

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| Oct 03, 2015

Hi Ruchita Srivastav! It is indeed difficult to deal with a non-conforming,argumentative child who indulges in back talking. this could be due to following reasons: 1. He is in a rebellious mode due to too much disciplining during early years. 2. No freedom given to express what the child wants. 3. He has a role model at home who behaves in a similar manner when being asked to conform to rules. 4. People at home frequently break rules decided together and hence the message gets passed on that rules are not to be taken seriously. In either of the situations u need to begin with scratch. This time make sure you are not shouting or talking to the child in a raised tone. Be calm and composed yet firm in yr tone. Make him sit and discuss when he seems to be calm too. U could set rules after discussion and arriving at a consensus. Don't forget to mention conssquences if rules are not followed such as time outs or being refrained from favorite activity such as TV viewing or going outdoors. Similarly be lavish in praising or hugging or engaging in free long talks on any random topic which he wishes to talk about on abiding by rules. Also u could discuss with hubby to express difference of opinion with u in closed doors. You could also try and handle frustration or anger in a non agressive manner such as taking a deep breath,diverting attention, talking out calmly etc. Have a confidant with whom u could voice all your worries. Lay some ground rules such as no TV viewing or use of gadgets after say 9pm, dinner together on dining table. Set routine for yr kids which if they decide not to follow should be immediately meted out with already decided consequences. As far as possible avoid shouting as it would again lead to a deadlock. I am sure with change in yr style of dealing with this situation u would be able to bring a change in yr child'support behavior too.

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