My daugther crying alot in preschool
Created by Updated on Jun 24, 2015
I joined my daughter(22mons) in preschool. but she cries a lot in the school. today is her 5th day , her father is with her in school and she was fine only if he is seen around in the premises between her play. Any suggestions how we should get her used to the environment. I cannot stop her from going to preschool , eventually she has to go to school in future. The staff is very good and co-operating , no complaints from their. They asked us to accompany her for few days until she settle down
| Jun 24, 2015
Hi Lohitha, your child has stranger anxiety as she hasnt even completed 2 yrs. So leaving your child in any new place or with new people would be a challenge for you now. First you have to gain her trust that you would come back to pick her up if you leave her with someone. So while at home, try practicing to leave her with a caretaker or a friend or a neighbor for just 5 mins to start with. Assure her that you will be back soon. Even if she starts crying,give her a hug and say good bye and wait outside for a while. and after 5 mins you get back to her. Gradually increase the time duration. At the age of 2, children do not participate in cooperative play. They start with parallel play. meaning they will be playing on their own beside another child. But most of the time they don't play with another child. Only around age of 3 they start making friends and play with other children. So making your child familiar with another child may not work. But observe what type of activities or toys she likes to play with when she is left alone i. e when you don't initiate the activity. You could suggest those activities or toys to the caretaker / teacher in the preschool so your child could keep herself engaged. Once she is involved in some activity, you gently remind her that you will leave and come back. when you leave her in the preschool, dont try to slip away when she is not looking. tell her you will be back to pick her up. And don't get tempted to stay outside her classroom to check how she is doing. In case if she sees you, again the whole drama will repeat. Staying with her for first few days should be to help her know the people, the surrounding and the routine. do not try to stay with her when she cries as it would give her a wrong signal that daddy will stay with her if she gets upset. Since it's already the 5th day, i think it's time you start leaving her on her own to learn to settle on her own.
| Jun 24, 2015
Hi Lolitha! At this stage separation anxiety as well as strangers anxiety both are at its peak. This is the first time child would be leaving her comfort zone and exploring the outside world. She would need trusted adults to help her do this. First and foremost step for building on trust would be 1. Having faith in school staff. Yr child is their responsibility in yr absence. The more u would trust them, the more it would reflect in yr behavior. 2. While leaving the child to school, do not give in to cries and stay back for long as this would pass on the message that somehow she could avoid the whole thing. 3. Make good byes brief. 4. Be on time as indicated by school staff. 5. During the day once she is back from school , count on positive experiences by reminding of what all she did in school. For ex playing on swings, singing rhymes, painting etc. Talk about the fun part. 6. If need be spend first week in school as indicated by school authorities. Avoid being stressed as it is just a phase. She would soon adjust in school and would miss the school and the teachers on weekends.
| Jun 25, 2015
Hi Lohita, that is the best suggestion from the staff. accompany the child to the school for a few days and once she gets familiar with the new enviroment, gradually ease yourself out. on your part, make going to school very exciting. ask the staff beforehand the activity plan for the next day and u cud then tell her in the morning that 'wow you are going to be doing this in school. lucky you!' this mite help.
| Jun 25, 2015
as my daughter is also crying for past 2 weeks in pre school ,though school environment is very good and also teachers very cooperative we are saying good thing about school though we cant create interest on school. everyday morning she will start crying for all silly things , lieing we cant change her,even in the school she is not playing with other childrens, sitting in her teachers lap not letting her to move here and there. please suggest how to create confident over the school.
| Jun 26, 2015
Hi Lohitha, not to worry much. Even I had started playschool for my daughter when she was 21 months old. Whatever carol, shikha and Rachna suggested is absolutely right. I would suggest, 1st send her for only 1 hr and slowly increase the timings. Also if you accompany her for more days in school, it may take more time for her to get adjusted in that environment. Initially she will be very cranky, throw tantrums on small things as you mentioned above. Her sleep pattern and food habits also may gets changed. At this age kids cant speak much or cant express their feelings in words so they will throw such tantrums. But you have to be very very patient and strong to help your child for this new phase in her life. Soon she will enjoy her school. My daughter cried for a week and took almost a month to get settled down. All the best :).