Child Psychology and Behaviour

My son has started replying us back, he doesn't listen to us at all.. His sentence starts with NO to everything we tell him to do and at times he us completely ignorant to what we tell him to do.. Yes I did slapped him and in return he turned violent on m

Mallika
7 to 11 years

Created by
Updated on Sep 26, 2015

Child getting agresauce and negative

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Shikha Batra

| Oct 05, 2015

Hi Mallika! Your case is no different from the mother of any 7 year old or around. Back talking or being argumentative or not following instructions is something kids learn by the time they are 4 or 6 years old before that they are scared of authority figures and consequences that might follow on non compliance with the rules. Also this is the time when they realize it is OK to have difference of opinion. You could try a different strategy this time i. e. nail it with love. In the sense first it is time to introspect on what issues he would take a different stand. Say for ex: you call him for dinner on dinner table but even after repeated reminders,he refuses to budge. The chances are yr tone of voice may change may be more harsher and louder with each successive reminder. It is advisable to change the whole scenario and avoid any sort of disagreement which might arise. Lay down some basic blanket rules for the whole family with consensus for ex: time to be on dinner table say 8 pm. One who gets late will have to explain. This would take away unnecessary tension of calling each and every member individually. Similarly set time for studies say 6 to 8 pm which could be little relaxed on weekends. U could also share with them rewards and punishment which might follow as per the case may be. Once they learn to follow routine it would save you from everyday stress. ALso if u feel there is something u didn't agree with,try and express same in a positive manner without hurting his self esteem . Avoid outrightly rejecting his point of view and blaming him for the same, try and discuss with him why he behaved so and how he thinks he could have done it differently and smartly. Most of the times, child's behavior is reaction to our action. So the moment we modify our actions ( say style of communication, tone , content) it is ought to bring a change in child's response as well. Hope this works.

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