Created by Updated on Jan 22, 2013
Hi Just want to know how to make children understand that we should not speak lie ... as my daughter for no reason she speak lie which is bothering me . i have explained her still its a same & she is very naughty
| Jan 22, 2013
Hi Simran. How old is your daughter? Well, I had a similar experience with my 3 year old a few months back. Firstly, I realized that she did not lie to cover up a mistake. In most cases it was mostly something she forgot she did. For instance, if she dropped a glass full of water on the carpet and I was not around to see it, she would forget about it and when I would come across the glass on a wet patch of carpet and ask her, she would deny having done it. After a few similar instances, I realized that she did not lie on purpose. But then there were instances where she did start denying having done things, like once she fed her snack to our pet dog and told me that she ate it all!! That got me really angry but instead of scolding or punishing her, I told her the story of Pinocchio. I told her how he lied and had no friends and his nose kept growing long with each lie he said. I added my own twists to the story to adapt to her surroundings. This had an immediate impact on her & she stopped hiding things or denying doing something. Now she her comes to me and admits if she has done something wrong. You may try to explain to her with the help of stories. You may also help her understand that you will not get angry if she makes a mistake, instead admitting to having done something will make you happy. Good Luck :)
| Feb 05, 2013
Simran, children actually understand truth and lies at a very young age and they understand very clearly that small lies can save them from a lot of trouble. Like eating every thing on their plate or brushing properly. Some children also go into a world of make believe, and they will lie about having imaginary friends or things they thought they did. These two are different. In the second example, children dont understand the difference between reality and imagination yet. They will outgrow it soon. In the first case, they are trying to avoid doing certain things. The trick it is to deal with it like a joke, laugh about it and still explain that you will not be fooled by such small lies. The pinocchio story is quite effective, as Anurima pointed out, I have tried it myself. However, now whenever my daughter tells me "I have brushed ma" she looks at me knowing that I will call her bluff. And yes, Anurima's suggestion is a golden rule- keep communication lines open. Your child should never be afraid to tell you the truth. Every child lies, its their quick escape. But they should know that you are a safe haven to understand their little faults and love them nevertheless.