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Need suggestion to deal with my special fussy boy

Yamini
1 to 3 years

Created by
Updated on Dec 12, 2014

Hi All, My son(3. 2 years old) is selective about his food. He loves white color. Hence he wants everything to be in white color. At first, I thought this is a phase and goes after some time. But it is has been 3months nearly and still going on. i tried making paste(carrot, beetroot, snakeguard,etc) of the vegetables and make chapatis out of it and give him. he loves to eat them, but not as a vegetable. everyday(3times a day) i cant make special chapatis , because of time constraint. i grate boiled egg and top it with white rice, play some videos to make him eat. I am really tired now. Help me. he loves to eat curd(because of its white color), with out any mix(even rice) in that. Please help me.   Also he hates to brush his teeth. i explained him through many stories, played videos on youtube but in vain. every day the moment he gets up, i would be tired on thinking how to brush the teeth. I stopped giving him food, until he brushes. He sits for an hour and cries out of hunger with any silly reason.     We would be travelling back to India in a month and cant help myself if he cries before elders. they would pamper him. Please help me.

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Yamini

| Dec 13, 2014

Thankyou shikha. As i love cooking, my son is now able to tell ingredients by seing. I really forgot to do shapes with food. Thanks a ton , i shall give my best.

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Shikha Batra

| Dec 13, 2014

Hi Yamini ! Well I understand it is indeed a very difficult phase for u. Y not introduce him to the world of colors and involve him in the process of cooking. These steps should help. When u add yellow haldi powder to things how color changes . When u add red tomatoes how color changes, when u add green spinach paste etc. So in a play way manner and by involving him and add one color one day to one dish and then tasting it would make him enjoy his creation. Add natural colors to rice put cooked rice in a bowl Press it and turn the bowl upside down on a plate. it will make a nice shape. use boiled egg to make nose and carrot to make lips and pepper corn for eyes. try making different shapes say spongebob squarepants or pinwheel sandwich on other days by involving u r child in these activities he would rather wait for food time. Now pertaining to brushing teeth. make it a fun time activity . Take child on u r back. sing a rhyme he loves to sing. Sino alOng. Bring his favorite toothbrush and spiderman or cartoon characters tooth paste. Keep praising him for his first attempt . Tell him he does it so nicely even u don't know how to do it and u r learning from him. don't bring anger or negative thoughts enter this activity. keep talking to child and motivating him. I am sure u both will have a pleasant experience and a smile on u r face bY the end of this activity.

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Yamini

| Dec 13, 2014

Thanks neetu. Luckily my patience levels are still on the line. Hence decided to overcome. As you said, i need to wait for that time. I thought the pampering of elders would give my boy more flexibility, which is not called for that moment. He cant be spoiled, i agree to it.

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Neetu Ralhan

| Dec 13, 2014

hi Yamini, sorry this is a long one:though this is just a passing phase for your little one, a mother can't help worrying. From the little experience that I have had in raising my 13 year old, I can confidently say that it works really well if we stop fussing over one particular thing and let the child see that it's not a big deal anymore. I have been in your place and know that the hardest thing for a mother to do is to let go, or may I say, lose control, even if its for a little while. When he learnt to articulate his feelings, my child said to me few times, mm when you say it again and again, I dont feel like doing it. And I figured that this applies to me too. May I suggest that you stop forcing your child to do these two things: eat colored foods or brush his teeth first thing in the morning. This requires immense amount of self control, and I still fail at these things. But give this 10 days. Don't force him but make sure to go about your own activities in front of him. Once he feels excluded, he may want to reconsider :) these little ones are so smart, we need to act smarter with them. The tiredness that you feel when you think of all the effort you need to put into making him brush or making him eat, it is understandable, I ahve experienced it too. But it just goes to show that we need to give ourselves a break, and automatically give the child a break. Don't strain yourself with all the stuffed chapattis and stuff. Do it once a day. Since I have already been through these situations, if I were to handle such a situation today with a small child, I would not use the force approach, I would just leave him alone and make a show of how brushing is great, how I and the family enjoy diffrent foods, and bring him to participate out of his own will.. 3. 2 years is not big but also not too small to ignore your new attitude :) Mums need to let go from time to time. But all this we learn with experience :) About the elders spoiling him, I urge you to enjoy your stay and not spoil it with negative thoughts that the elders are spoiling him. Even if they indulge him a bit, he won't be spoilt for life. He will just get to have a diferent experience apart from the mother-child one. take care.

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Yamini

| Dec 12, 2014

food!! i shall make paste because thats the least i can make him eat veggies. i ask himfor color of chapati he wants and then make paste. He helps in buying veggies and even in cleaning, chopping and cooking, but not eating. whenever i show him other kids eating them and ask him to eat,he refuses and cries for white things.

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Yamini

| Dec 12, 2014

hi megha, regarding brushing i asks him to put on paste and brush my teeth. he is good and tell all stories to me but that will not work with him. this ended in me brushing again. as a last option, i will be stirct and say i cant give him food. but as i mentioned i would turn down. Now i decided to brush his teeth any time in a day, but still not able to success even with that decision. choclate or video! no way, if i tell that he stress on them first. i tried taking him to my friends house in my morning to show his friends brushing. he is smart in guiding them but not the purpose.

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Megha

| Dec 12, 2014

With regards to food, introduce him to colours, tell him that eating tomato or the colour red can make him strong. Show him videos that tell interesting things about vegetables and fruits. Don't make a paste of anything. The kids will really hate it. Bring those veggie and fruit toys so he gets introduced to them. And elders being elders will pamper him. You cannot avoid it completely. But on the brighter side if he sees everyone around him eating and all he might get into the habit of doing the same.

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Megha

| Dec 12, 2014

Hi Yamini, try to get into competitive spirit by brushing your teeth along with him. Tell him the one who brushes will get say a chocolate, or will get to watch that favourite cartoon or anything that you think that he loves. But don't try to punish him by keeping him hungry. That may make him even more angry and stubborn.

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