Scared of parent

7 to 11 years

Created by Sudarshana Mukherjee
Updated on May 21, 2015

My daughter is 6 years old and is otherwise a bubbly girl. Though I never yell at her and discuss things out yet she has this fear of upsetting me. As a result she does not express her small wishes or needs like if she needs a second helping or if she wants something from the gift shop because she thinks that it will make me think less of her and I will be upset. But this is make thongs difficult as she is masking her feelings and I have to really try hard to figure out what she is actually feeling and what is actually going on inside her little heart.

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| May 27, 2015

thanks Nikita and Meenu for your insights.... it helps a lot to know that this situation is not unique to me... will definitely follow the advice

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| May 21, 2015

Hi Sudarshana, has she seen you or your husband getting upset at her in the past over her demands.. if yes, then probably that is the reason what you could do is to pay attention to her small desires and time and again ask her, do you want to do this, do you want to buy this. Observe her in a shop and if you feel she is longingly looking at something, ask her if she wants to buy the thing, and if yes, then buy it for her. time and again reassure her that mummy loves you a lot and whatever you like or dont like you can tell mummy about it. Gradually, paying lots of attention to her, showing patience around her, and showing lots of love to her should get the point across to her and she should be more comfortable about it.

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| May 21, 2015

Hi Sudarshana, this exact same thing is happening to me too with my 3. 5 year old daughter. I feel that in trying to discipline my child, me and my husband went overboard and the child is meek and does things to keep us happy. What I m trying to do now is to listen to her, fulfill her small desires (even if it means going out of my way), and in general spend lots of time with her. I get more involved with her now rather than leaving her to the maid. And also, i try and scold her less. Don't know how effective this will be in the long run, but now atleast she is sharing more things with me... what she wants to do, what she likes, what she doesn't.. i think she now feels that someone is going to hear her.

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