Parenting

6 Ways to discipline your child!

Ridhi Doomra
3 to 7 years

Created by Ridhi Doomra
Updated on Sep 18, 2017

6 Ways to discipline your child

There comes that moment in a parent's life when that seemingly cooperative little baby suddenly has just one word in his vocabulary – NO! When your child grows into toddlerhood, and then into school years, he wears his individuality and independence with pride. So yes, while tantrums, acting out and general rebellious behavior is a sign of growth and development, it helps to know when it is a sign of something more. And in such cases, disciplining a child with love and empathy is what works best.

What Does Disciplining A Child Really Mean?

Discipline is commonly equated with punishment. However, when punishment is doled out every time a child does something that he is not meant to, it doesn't send the right signal to him. It just makes him rebel against instructions and orders, and assert his independence by doing the same thing, again. Discipline is about guiding your child towards the right choices. Positive discipline will help your child become responsible, and create trust, instead of pushing him away from you.

What Are Some Tips To Discipline A Child?

Each family has its own parenting style, and this extends to discipline and rule-setting, too. However, here are some basic tips that will help you guide your child when he indulges in behavior that is not okay-

  1. Give attention and empathy: Spend one-on-one time with your child on a regular basis. Use that time to make him feel special, and loved. A child always needs attention, and if you're not going to give it to him, he will seek it out in different ways. When you give attention regularly, you preempt the need for him to seek negative attention
  2. Set some rules, and stick to them: Explain clearly what is acceptable and what is not. And don't threaten your child with unrelated punishment. For instance, if he hasn't put away his games and books, ask him to help clean up, or help with dusting. Don't threaten to cancel your ice-cream outing. Be consistent when it comes to following these rules. Be firm, but non-threatening
  3. Stay calm: When your child is in the middle of a tantrum, it can be very hard to remain calm. The temptation to yell can be overwhelming, but it is extremely rewarding if you can curb it. Acknowledge her irritation or problem by saying "I know you're upset, but it is not okay to kick." If you scream at your child, the message you're sending is that it is okay to scream and have your way
  4. A united front: Your partner and you need to be in agreement about how you will parent, and what behavior warrants disciplining. If you try to dissuade your child from doing something and your partner is more relaxed about it, your child will use that to his advantage. What he sees is, two people who don't respect each other's points of view, and it gives him room to rebel
  5. Set an example: If you leave the sitting room cluttered with your books and newspapers, you can't expect your child to keep his room tidy. Do everything you want to see your child doing, whether it is speaking politely, or putting dishes away. When your child observes that you are consistent in what you do, he will automatically do the same
  6. Praise good behavior: When your child has done something well, be quick to praise him. Nothing works as a better disciplinary tool than positive attention and encouragement

What Should I Not Do When Disciplining My Child?

When it comes to helping your child grow, it doesn't help to order, or enforce or threaten. These actions just reinforce negative behavior, and affects the bond that you have with your child. Here are some things to avoid while disciplining your child-

  1. Physical punishment (hitting, spanking): Never hit or spank even when you find that your child's behavior is testing your limits. In addition to physically harming the child, spanking teaches a child that aggressive behavior is acceptable. A young child only recognizes the pain, and doesn't see the link between the punishment and his behavior.
  2. Threaten or lie: Sometimes, a parent may be tempted to make up a quick lie to literally scare the child into behaving differently. For e.g., if your child refuses to get ready for bed time despite being sleepy, there's a tendency to tell him that if he doesn't sleep, the night monster will make a visit. All this does is harbor unnecessary anxiety and fear in your child's mind, which in turn will make bed time an unpleasant time.
  3. Offer bribes: This is another quick fix temptation when in the middle of a meltdown. "Just finish your homework and I'll buy you that game" or "If you eat these vegetables, you can have chocolate." Every time the child does his homework, he is going to expect a new game, or when he eats a healthy meal, some chocolate.
  4. Break rules that you've set for your child:If you've set rules, make sure you follow them. You can't teach him that yelling is not acceptable if you're yelling yourself.

Your child doesn't rebel or act out with the intention of hurt or insult you. It isn't about you, but about him. If he is seeking your attention and doesn't have it, he will resort to these behaviors to get it. Instead, shower your child with love and kind words. Encourage and praise him when he accomplishes a task, no matter how small! Your child will automatically learn discipline through love.

Do you have any tips to share with us on disciplining a child? Share your thoughts in the comments section!

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| Oct 08, 2017

Nice blog

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| Sep 30, 2017

Fantastic points which we should follow with our childs

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| Sep 20, 2017

very relevant blog that deals with a very tough problem most parents are facing .This blog will truly help me to change my attitude towards my kid on his aggressive nature and help him to be more calm and cool...

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| Sep 19, 2017

v useful ... I always try to keep calm but when it exceeds I will loose my control... and hit my daughter... more then me she gets angry... when she is angry it's v difficult to handle her... she starts hurting her...

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| Sep 18, 2017

very useful blog. it gives an insight into child's thinking process and how strict disciplining methods can make him a rebel after a certain period of time rather than making him conform to rules set by u. I also agree that, a parent has to be a role model first to expect a child to walk in his/ her steps.. thanks Riddhi Doomra for sharing such an amazing blog in such simple language .

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| Sep 18, 2017

thanks.

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| Aug 28, 2017

thank you so much... it's really so useful

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| Aug 28, 2017

thank you so much... it's really so useful

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| Aug 28, 2017

thank you so much... it's really so useful

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| Aug 28, 2017

thank you so much... it's really so useful

  • Report

| Aug 28, 2017

thank you so much... it's really so useful

  • Report

| Aug 28, 2017

thank you so much... it's really so useful

  • Report

| Aug 28, 2017

thank you so much... it's really so useful

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| Aug 28, 2017

thank you so much... it's really so useful

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| Aug 25, 2017

thanks for your great advice

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| Jul 18, 2017

Too much good information. Thanks for sharing.

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| Jul 18, 2017

Thanx a lot 4 d valuable advice. Looking forward some more like these.

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| Jul 18, 2017

,

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| Jul 18, 2017

nice advice

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| Jul 18, 2017

Ma paapa joshitha 6years concentration peragataniki em cheyali

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| Jul 18, 2017

very very nice.... will try to stick to them

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| Jul 18, 2017

Thank u so much... really needed guidance on this topic at this stage.

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| Jun 15, 2017

thanku so much.. really nice blog.

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| Jun 12, 2017

i like the article bt u know when living in joint family all dnt follow the rules n then child do the same.. evn when u try to convince them.. this thing really creats frustration.

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| May 27, 2017

ridhi as u said family must obey rules first... my husband dnt follow our principles in home.... he eat lot snaks b4 lunch too much tv and my mum n me do it with limit what to do there is chance my son may follow his dad....... pls suggest

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| May 27, 2017

ridhi as u said family must obey rules first... my husband dnt follow our principles in home.... he eat lot snaks b4 lunch too much tv and my mum n me do it with limit what to do there is chance my son may follow his dad....... pls suggest

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| May 27, 2017

emotional bank account is great idea ya as you said it should b more r else they may nt follow rules

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| May 27, 2017

The last one is really very important point.. thnx for such nice blog.

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| May 22, 2017

Thanks for such a good article

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| May 22, 2017

it's really good information ,but before that as a parent s we shouldn't show our angriness on them and we should be more patience .

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| May 18, 2017

Before disciplining children... I think parents should learn how to be patient.... any tips for parents here? By the way, your information is very useful...

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| May 18, 2017

very good article truly acceptable

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| May 17, 2017

This is a very comprehensive article. Thanks

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| May 17, 2017

Very good article for parents I want to add Children learn what we do, so first we should learn and follow discipline.

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| May 17, 2017

really nice tips

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| Apr 27, 2017

Nice tips thank you

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| Apr 25, 2017

nice tips& are helpful

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| Apr 17, 2017

really helpful tips...

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| Apr 10, 2017

Thank you. really good article

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| Mar 11, 2017

good information

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| Mar 10, 2017

good one.. thank you for the useful tips on disciplining children

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| Mar 09, 2017

emotional bank account concept is good I will try it.. thanks a lot for the information.

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| Mar 08, 2017

thank you so much it's really good article

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| Mar 08, 2017

very good article.

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| Mar 07, 2017

awesome... very useful

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| Mar 07, 2017

thanxs very much this is what we need in our daily life.

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| Mar 05, 2017

thank u for your suggestions

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| Mar 04, 2017

I love it

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| Mar 02, 2017

thank u fr this blog ..wil b helpful to me also

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| Feb 24, 2017

very nice article

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| Feb 21, 2017

thanks alot... l will definitely follow this,,,thanks for this precious messages onceagain

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| Feb 01, 2017

nice article.. I really like the deposit and withdrawal part.. it make sense

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| Jan 18, 2017

To, Derryl Gonsalves, I want to add a word to the problem you are facing with your daughter. Try these, to put back toys after playing, instead of ordering her, say, let's put back toys together.. It might work. Instead of saying not to watch you tube, set a password lock to your mobile and tell her, let's play some indoor games like chess, carrots, whichever is interesting as per her age. Instead of threatening to put in boarding school, tel her, if you do a particular work, I vl try to come from office soon, let's go for a walk, or let's indulge in some craft making. The condition you put to your child, must be positive. It should not take your kid away from you, or it should not make your kid hate you.

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| Jan 13, 2017

A nice blog. However, my daughter rebels even after I have reasoned with her to put back her toys after she has finished playing with them or not to watch YouTube on her mom's cell phone. I have tried raising my voice, hitting her and now I am threatening her to send her to a boarding school which works but I am not happy with this technique. I don't think this is a proper technique and need help! My daughter needs to understand my point of view which I guess I am unable to put forward in a way she understands and comprehend.

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| Jan 04, 2017

Very Nice Blog. Kudos! Point No. 1. "Bond with your child" and make more 'deposits' in the 'Emotional Bank Account', is a Great reminder for Fathers especially . Being a father we relatively spend less time with children and somehow end up having to play the part of 'Rules Enforcer' and thus make more 'withdrawals' from the 'Emotional Bank Account'. Thanks for this Huge Takeaway from your blog post

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| Dec 31, 2016

my Son doesnt este vegetales. how to make him eat

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| Dec 31, 2016

very nice and beneficial information !

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| Dec 29, 2016

Very useful information..... We are also doing like this......

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| Dec 29, 2016

really it's useful..

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| Dec 29, 2016

this is very useful..

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| Dec 29, 2016

each pount is clearly explained... tq

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| Dec 29, 2016

Very important points... everyone must follow

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| Dec 28, 2016

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| Dec 28, 2016

thanks for this blog.... its really useful

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| Dec 28, 2016

Good one!

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| Dec 28, 2016

nice information

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| Dec 28, 2016

nice blog ... very true on these points ....

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| Dec 28, 2016

I like and corelate to #5

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| Dec 28, 2016

Wonderful blog.

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| Dec 28, 2016

Interesting and practical techniques to discipline your child.

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