7 Habits of highly effective dads!
Created by Mohit Sawhney Updated on May 31, 2020
My dad once asked me: “Now that you are a Dad yourself, would you bring up your children any differently than how I brought you up?” The question had me thinking… “Would I?” And if yes, then in what way would it be different? I did think, after all, that he’d done fine as a dad - in fact, I had always thought of him as my hero! But yes, it got me thinking…and thinking to the point that I actually penned down the 7 habits of highly effective dads – it is for all those dads out there who wish to do more their child…
1. A: Accept – Clearly, my child is different from whom I expect him to be. My child is not merely an extension of me. So please accept your child for who s/he is. Once your child knows that, s/he can conquer the world.
2. B: Believe – Don’t quash your child’s dreams before they take wings. Don’t ignore cut your child off when s/he tells you something whimsical or unrealistic. Listen more and talk less. That would boost your child’s confidence to a totally different level and develop the greatest quality a child can have – ‘wonder’!
3. C: Care – Your child is not a task to be checked off. He or she is a human being who needs to be taken care of with loads of love, tenderness, and affection.
4. D: Don’t decide everything – Don’t decide everything your child does – from not seeing Grandpa or some aunt just because you had some temporary discords with them. Don’t decide what books they ‘must’ read. Draw a line and you will help your child become a far superior decision maker when s/he grows up – let the small decisions be your child’s.
5. E: Easy way out? – Trust me, your child wants to know more from you about those taboo topics – sex, drugs, smoking and drinking. You cannot take the easy way out and not talk about all this with your child. If you avoid, you are taking a risk of pushing your child to seek out this information from other not-so-trustworthy sources, such as searching things online, asking friends who might say anything or worse, trying it out!
6. F: Be more fun – Please take out the time to have more fun together, more one-on-one time, more outings – just you and your child (no mommy either!). I have the fondest memories of the times my Dad and I played Carom together – the memories are embedded in a peaceful part of my heart which I dig into whenever I need comfort and assurance and I intend to provide many such comforting and reassuring moments to my child.
7. G : Be good – Don’t just be good with your child, but with everyone, especially the person who means the world to your child – Mommy! Don’t quarrel with your spouse, especially in front of your child. Be kind to the world and your child will pick up the same from you; lead by example.
So the dream actually opened up new possibilities for creating a more cherishable relationship with my child. I hope my learning help fellow dads achieve the same… what else would you add to this checklist on ‘how to be a super dad’ – would love to hear some of the things that are helping you in your journey.
| Mar 10, 2017
H: Happiness - Happiness is the ultimate goal of our life. I think my son should get the impression that whatever actions and feelings come out from me is to achieve happiness of me, he and all of us with whom we are involved. I: Innocence must be preserved - Every action of our kids got Innocence , let him know that it's a pleasure to see him in that action and how beautiful the world become, just busy of that innocence. J: No to Jealousy - As a human nature, we may notice some kind of jealousy in us or surrounding . I should teach my child jealousy is good if we want to improve ourselves and if it is going to hurt someone then it's bad. Stop it and move away immediately.
| Mar 11, 2017
Hi Atish - Thanks for helping complete the ABCs of Highly Effective Dads. It is indeed a pleasure. I would just look at it from Dad's perspective to say H: Be Happy I: Note them in their Innocence (which would in turn encourage them with more of that) J: No to Jealousy (it is for us Dads to stop being J, and kids will catch up is what I think. Cheers!