I have a daughter and i won’t change that for anything in this world!

“Why is it that mothers of a boy child, often says that they so wanted a boy but the mothers of a girl child never say the same?” A few days ago, this question was posted on a public forum, with a wink emoji and then followed by that person’s sarcastic digs at mothers of daughters. The person clarified this by saying that they (mothers of girls) don’t say this because they fear that people will judge them of being jealous of the mothers who have boys.

What startled me was the realizsation that age and education has nothing to do with ignorance. Even when a lot of mothers responded and said that for a mother, a child is a child and gender has nothing to do with it, this young mother was adamant in her point that the mothers of daughters are insecure. I too commented but then I did not want to get into a useless argument. Therefore, I decided to write about it.

 First of all, the question in itself showed lack of information and experience. There are mothers who might have wished for a boy and became mother to a girl or vice versa. But this does not change the way they love their child. It is just a desire that a woman might have during her pregnancy. Such things do not change or become a base for a mother’s love.

I have a daughter and I never really thought of the gender of my child while I was pregnant. It did not really matter to me. I just wanted my cuddly baby. With gender bias and female foeticide still prevalent in our society, I want to answer that young mother’s important question.

 •Mother of a daughter is always free to say that she wants a son because like many she might also want to enjoy the childhood of both a boy and a girl. And no one in the world can judge her or she does not even care for being judged.

• Mother of a daughter, in many cases, will not say that she wanted a son because she might have seen disappointment on faces of her own people when her girl was born. She might have also seen her little princess being ignored by her own people simply because she was not born as a boy. And this behavior too, has nothing to do with education or social standard. This mother will never let her child feel insecure by saying that she wanted a boy because she never did. The day I gave birth to my daughter, my husband and I were on top of the world. And then entered some close people with expressions as if someone had died. They stole that moment of being loved from me and I will never forget that, I will not even forgive that. So, the mother of a daughter might never say that she wanted a boy because she does not want her child to feel the same neglect.

• Mother of a daughter or even mother of a son might not say that she wanted a girl or a boy because that does not really bother her. I wanted a child and I have a child – what more can I ask for.

• Mothers of boys in a moment sometimes say that they so wanted a girl because they are girls themselves and might have thought of dressing up a little doll and buying all those cute dresses, shoes, bags and toys for her. But this does not mean that they are not happy. This is just a desire. I know a couple who did not have a child and they decided to adopt a little girl, from an organisation to give a little girl, who was abandoned by her family, immense love and care. We, generally, say that ‘I so wanted a girl or I so wanted a boy’ in spur of a moment when we see a little girl or boy doing something very cute. Not saying ‘I so wanted a boy’ or ‘I so wanted a girl’ does not make a mother insecure or jealous. I will never say ‘I so wanted a boy’ because I never thought about it. I am so happy with my child that I would not change it for anything in this world and I believe no mother in the world would do that.