4 Learnings From Sonali Bendre & Her Son Ranveer

Cancer is a scare, which is affecting millions of lives worldwide. This modern-day life-threatening disease doesn’t distinguish between people. Sonali Bendre is not only a talented actress, but she’s also a doting mother to Ranveer and is now battling with high grade metastatic cancer. She took to internet to break this news to the world recently. Sonali is undergoing a treatment in New York and has asked everyone to pray for her speedy recovery. Our heart goes out to Bollywood actors like Irfaan Khan and now Sonali Bendre, and we pray for their recovery and strength for their family.

There are some important aspects to this fight against Cancer. That of the impact on the family members, especially the child and how can the family support the patient. I have covered some of these aspects in this blog and also included a Child Psychologist’s perspective.

Sonali Bendre- A Mother Before An Actor

Sonali Bendre is a mother of two, a son and a daughter. It’s difficult to fathom what she must be going through during this phase of her life. Battling with a disease like Cancer can leave an entire family in shatters and having young children makes things even more challenging for a parent. Sonali’s life has undergone a transition and shall undergo treatment now. Given this and her fight, keeping this news a secret from the children shall bear no fruit. Given that it’s out in public, it’s really great the way in which, she has shared this with her children, almost as if treating them as her team in this fight. 

Sharing With Your Family

Young minds are inquisitive and have questions about what’s happening around them, so you can only imagine how a topic related to ‘Cancer’ can lead to various questions from a child. Adults often hesitate to bring up the topic of a terminal illness before their child due to the fear that it may traumatize them. While the worry is justified, there are ways to approach this. We need to understand that children nowadays are aware of illness from a number of sources around them, the more ubiquitous being the media. The way in which children respond to terminal illness is shaped majorly by their social environment. Children being sensitive to emotional moods and non-verbal communications of adults around them can intuitively sense when something is wrong, especially with their parent. Giving this reality, it is perhaps most important to communicate with the child themselves about their illness for a parent. The level and the type of discussion you have with a child about a terminal diagnosis also depends on the child’s developmental stage and the nature of the specific diagnosis.

Address Your Child’s Curiosity Followed By Their Emotions

There are two ways to address a child’s query. One by addressing with facts and the other by taking time to finding facts and the words to put them together in a manner that they are factual and easy for a child to comprehend as per their age. A child may still come up with more questions, and it’s OK to take some time to answer them. What’s perhaps most important here is that you are treating them like a key family member and sharing important things with them. At times, it can be overwhelming for a young child, and that is where your parental instinct can help. Make sure it’s not done in a rushed way, and you have your immediate family, with your spouse and your children together for this conversation. Things like letting them know how there will be a change in your routine, owing to the treatment one goes through is important. It’s important to let them know the bodily changes one may go through during the treatment, for e.g. hair loss and weakness. So, telling your child that they will notice these changes is almost like preparing them in advance, thereby avoiding any chances of a sudden impact on them.

Fostering A Supportive Environment

Some children may act out when confronted with bad news. The child could have trouble in school or pick fights with friends or may even become clingy. It’s important to prepare you child’s school teacher and the Principal, along with your child’s friends’ parents, so that you can foster all the support in your child’s environment. Talking to the child's teacher or the guidance counselor at school and let them know what is going on. Keeping your child closer with the family during this phase will help your child as well as you.

No matter how challenging things get, always assure your child that support from friends, family and relatives is there and how everyone loves him/her. Showing unconditional love and support to your child and a brave face in front of them will also help them stay positive during such time. We at parentune are deeply worried about Sonali Bendre and all families stricken by such challenging times, but we believe that a parent’s resolve is their strength, and especially when it’s supported by a son like Ranveer. We support Sonali, Ranveer and their entire family and wish them resolve, strength and all things positive.

About Metastatic Cancer

When cancer cells break away from the primary spot, where they were formed and spread to other parts of the body through blood or lymph system, it is known as metastatic cancer. The cancer cells form tumors in other parts of the body, which are known as metastatic tumors. The prominent reason the 'high grade' cancer is dangerous and needs is, its ability to spread quickly to other parts of the body.