Littles and I - The Homecoming

The nine months that you spend with your baby when it’s inside you, do not in any way prepare you for when it comes out. Suddenly, what you owned completely now belongs to the world! You feel a whole lot of emotions but the one strongest feeling is that of loss. Loss of weight (literally), loss of a sense of possession and a definite loss of control.
I had a caesarian delivery, and spent the first week in the nursing home. LITTLES was looked after primarily by the nurses; they brought her to me for her feeds. It seemed easy. She was bathed in the nursery, her diapers were changed by them, she was given her vitamins and calcium on time and the pediatrician came to look her up once a day. I got my time and space to deal with the physical pain and to sleep.
We were discharged from the nursing home after a week. In the midst of torrential rains we brought LITTLES home. It was just the two of us, my husband and me; circumstances had ensured that neither of our parents could be with us.
I entered the house and got busy settling things and making the bed for LITTLES. And then my husband said “Maybe we should check her diaper”. I said “Sure”. I opened the diaper and brought a new one to change, and then froze. I didn’t know how to change diapers! They had taught us everything in the prenatal classes and changing a diaper is not rocket science, but I just couldn’t. It reminded me of my math exams--when I would completely blank out despite knowing how to solve a theorem. Tears rolled down, as I thought about my inadequacy as a mother. What kind of a mother does not know how to change diapers? She was better off inside my tummy. I controlled everything. Now, I have to start from scratch and make this whole new, difficult journey of motherhood. The first few hours at home were spent crying, laughing hysterically and stressing. Thankfully my best friend came to spend the night and M (my husband) and she took over. LITTLES had slept off, so I was given my dinner and medicines and made to sleep too. I must sleep when she sleeps, I was told.
As I lay in bed wide awake and alone, I turned to look at her--LITTLES smiled at me, in her sleep. Almost like she wanted to say “Amma, don’t worry, I am there na- Your Little Best Friend?”
I dozed off, smiling too.
But that special homecoming, taught me a few lessons in mom-smartness. I am sharing them here
Things to Remember:
Some things parents-to-be can keep ready before bringing the baby home:
1. All basic baby clothes, linen, diapers, toiletries: Keep everything washed and ironed and ready at least two weeks before the date of delivery.
2. Remember to air the house really well: in case it has been locked up while you were all at the hospital. Maybe someone can come a few hours before the baby comes home and open out all doors and windows. Also, get the baby bed made ready—clean and safe.
3. Keep a plastic trolley ready on the bed-side: This is a trolley with all the basic baby stuff. Some diapers, wipes, a bottle of water, tissues and other things required to clean the baby, basic medicines for the newborn, and some snacks for the mother etc.
4. Keep the house mosquito free: Buy mosquito repellents for each room beforehand. Also, ensure the baby has his own little mosquito net ready.