Parenting teenagers

Teenage...the last leg of a carefree journey before the seriousness of life sets in....but is it really that carefree...from bodily changes, mood swings, infatuations, rejections, attractions, aggression, heartbreak, complexes, questions, competition, sense of insecurity, trust issues, fear of being judged, arguments, rebellion, temptations, curiosity, depression, anger, wrong choices, peer pressure, need of approval, broken sense of security....phew!!!  Being a teenager is no longer easy!

Where do I begin helping my child is what many parents are asking today. How much ever we think we can help as we have all gone through the same phase, our balm-ing words sound insufficient n repetitive.

Talking extensively to the teenage girls and boys as a life coach I realised what a vicious circle we have ourselves created. We have set very high standards of self and social approval in our child's mind. They are impressed by fair, flawless skins, swanky cars, huge bungalows, branded clothes, super thin bodies, high end gadgets, foreign holidays...and want to fit the bill just to feel an approval from the outside coming. The mirror is no longer the friend at whom I would secretively smile in appreciation of those twinkling eyes, but a critical bystander who reinforces my flaws each time I look closely at myself. The mirror hasn't changed, my eyes only look differently now.

A child who refuses to use loud and foul language is considered 'uncool' and is discarded as an extra card in the pack; a natural introvert is rushed to the psychologist in fear of rejection; innocence and honesty are seen as blocks or masks of dumbness; we as parents are losing our ground like never before..

When your child is left feeling lonely and discarded amongst their peer group, it tarnishes a child’s sense of self and pressurizes them to either give up on their confidence or do something to bring the lost glory back even if it means compromising on what they know isn't them.

Think over these questions

1. Why are our children so emotionally empty? (because we as parents are not emotionally strong ourselves perhaps)
2. Are we instilling more fear than faith in them?
3. How much are we telling our children about compassion, forgiveness and righteousness, and self belief?

Martin Luther King and the likes have left great examples of these qualities and must be talked about.

Here’s something to consider

1. If we as parents truly focus on people's character, strength and value traits above their outer appearance our children will imbibe the same quality.
2. If we help them know that a child is going to offer that cigarette to you only to find a partner in crime and not because it has anything good in it they might use their sensibility to gauge the right choice.
3. If we use our own childhood stories, realisations, outside inspiration every now and then and also in times of their failure fill them with an extra pinch of positivity we will take the fear of failure away from them.
4. We fall into the same traps at our own level (the gloss of the outward appearances) in which we find our teens…we are being watched! Children follow more of what 'we do' than what 'we say'.

We at the ‘Blessed Kids’ encourage teenagers to hold higher self esteem and bring clarity to them through stories and open discussions on related topics.

We give them a platform for speaking their mind without feeling judged and gently correct the way they perceive the world if the need be.

Shweta Chopra is a Life Coach and Spiritual Healer. She has been dealing with children and teen issues, parental anxieties, and pregnancy fears for a long time now and helps people connect with their inner selves. She has a popular page facebook/Communicative-Souls