Joint family -- a boon for both mom and child
Created by Arika Tiwari Updated on Aug 24, 2017
Nuclear families come with their own benefits, perhaps the biggest being a sense of independence. However, the very things that we could count on while being part of a joint household in terms of help and support are those we now seek outside, and at considerable expense. Living and growing up with different family members offers a wealth of knowledge, security and experience.
What Are The Benefits Of Joint Family System?
So here, I would like to highlight the benefits of being a part of a joint family-
- Add value while saving money: Being a working parent, you probably opt for day-care services to care for your child while at work. Living in a joint family can help cut down on this cost significantly, while giving the reassurance that your child is definitely being cared for in the best way, by family and in a home environment. The money saved on day-care expenses can also be invested in mutual funds/SIP towards your child's future!
- Special time for self-care: You can have time to care for yourself and spend it peacefully whether it is in a beauty parlour, gym or yoga classes or a party. When you know there is someone at home who is more experienced than you, you will be least worried about your child. Women who have time to relax and take care of themselves make better mothers and wives!
- Assisted development: In nuclear families, children usually spend most of their time with mom and dad. A common scene is one or both parents coming home tired at the end of a day's work, often too tired to talk or play with their child. This could affect your child's emotional and physical growth adversely too, for example by causing delayed speech development. While living in a joint family, you would not require a speech therapist for speech delay as your child will have enough people to talk to him/her rather than only you and only your partner
- Safe environment: Living in a joint family offers your child a lot of physical and social security. Whenever your child needs a change, you need not send him/ her over to a friend's home, as in a joint family your child will be able to interact with all kinds of people of all age groups
- Helping fussy eaters: While eating daily meals together with other family members, your child will grow to appreciate food differently seeing different people eating and enjoying different types of food, rather than eating less while just watching TV and mobile games for company
- Gaining traditional and cultural knowledge: Growing up with our grandparents and aunts and uncles provides exposure to the wide experience of elders and their collective knowledge, which will not only help our kids but ourselves as well to learn new things whether it's about food, health, traditional remedies and know-how like Nanima ke nukse etc. This provides invaluable experience and knowledge which helps our children view themselves and the world differently and perhaps one day they can pass on the same understanding to their children too!
I can understand it's difficult for most ladies to adjust with their in-laws and relatives, but if we can compromise a bit, there will be more advantages for you and your child. I sincerely hope that you take this article positively and highlight a more positive aspect of being a part of a joint family.
Did you find Arika's blog on the benefits of living in a joint family useful? What is your experience of living in a joint family? Do leave your comments…. We love hearing from you!
| Dec 01, 2019
Arika Tiwari Actually ankita its true that having parents at home is blessing itself. But in some situation we cannot even speak anything to our elders, so in order to avoid any arguments i just keep silent. That is said as generation gap we cannot change them or their perspective as they have just lived their life and they are more stubborn like babies, without realising what are they actually doing, so its not a big deal but yes its big whe. n it come to our childs upbringing. Thank you for your support and prayer Arika. Hope you to have each and everyday a happy motherhood
| Dec 01, 2019
I can totally understand your situation. It's a fact that even now, some mother in laws want baby boy rather than baby girl which is very difficult to digest. and they will have their own old ways to upbringing children which may be very different from what we want. The only thing that we can do is patience is clearly and firmly making them understand how and what we want from them. If we give respect and care to them, we equally need to make them realise that we except the same. I still feel that in case we clearly express without talking anyone's help ( not even our husband), situation can improve. I hope and pray that they became supportive and your motherhood journey becomes smooth.
| Dec 01, 2019
Mother will always be a mother. We need not require to impress our kids. Slowly and slowly, by seeing our unconditional love, they will definitely love us back. Comming to your situation, it's good that everyone loves your daughter, but being you need to spend time with your daughter. You need to express boldly that you require to spend time with her. Do that hestitate, it's your right and I am sure everyone will understand.
| Dec 01, 2019
Arika Tiwari its so true that these are all benefits of having a joint family but what about bans . Nowadays getting a supportive inlaws is like getting a blessings of god, there are so many factors what i face in my inlaws home. Sometimes its too difficult to handel them instead of baby. And especially my mother in law who feels that i have came to snatch everything from her- er son her own kitchen, her freedom, and what else. My husband says i shocked of seeing my own moms behaviour and attitude towards me. Before marriage and till i gave birth with our daugter, she on daily basis used to say she want boy rather than girl. I was so upset hearing these thing. I even shouted at her for discrimating between girl and boy who have not came into this worldinstead of praying to god for a healthy baby she prayes for boy child. She even kept many conditions with god that if u give me boy child i will do this that and everything god knows what all?. And all at that time was having a great fear that will she accept our daugter or not. My whole pregnancy time was spend with this future worries of this discrimination. But atlast when our daugter arived she was welcomed with all warmth but still i told you, the conditions with god instead of doing the rituals what she made for baby she refused those beacuse it was girl. My husband tried to talk to her and ask about the things, because we really didn't want our child to suffer with any kind of unwanted thoughs. This is just one thing but after getting our girl. I really didn't get benefits of career or any kind of mental support from my in laws. Every parents have some or other aspect about upbringing of our child to manage with in-laws are like daily unwanted fight for all small things what actually are just silly things want u wanted to ingnored. They just have all kinds of old rituals for bathing, eating, playing and what all. My. In laws play with if they are in good mood only else they would just ingnore her. They do love her but dont god knows what are they tring to do. Each and everyday is an adjustment with in laws we consistently shut our mouth for what they do things. And is the result that my daugter is becoming, selfish, possissi e, and she throughs all kinds of tantrums for getting her things done. When ever a fight takes place grandparents want them to fullfill all her demand even if it is good or bad. Right know i can't leave her home alone for my job, beause they can't manage her tantrums or feed her even two times a day. I was so found of getting married, leaving with inlaws was my dream come true. Till i we had baby after that i have started feeling that having nuclear family has benefits atleast we can do things independently in our way. I have just got detached with the feeling joint family is good from outside but to upbring a child in present senario to handle her with in laws is toooo difficult.
| Sep 04, 2017
saraneet may be m not into ur situation so could not understand properly . u sud talk to ur mother n law if ur worried about her behaviour n ur kid may be communication could help.
| Sep 03, 2017
Priyanka Ranjan u don't known my mother in law intension... She wants my daughter with her all time even sleeping time at night... That I can't do because in in laws home my support is my daughter only
| Sep 02, 2017
true. all these are just talks... the reality is totally different. Joint family brings lots of home responsibilities. Grandparents feel we just have to fulfill them and they will take care of the child.
| Sep 01, 2017
saranJeet u r being kiddish its like situation where a kid want to have own toy with him only. small kids are very cute so everyone in the family wants to play and spend time especiaĺly grannis. you should think the other way if some in ur family is taking care of the baby then ur lucky . u will have time for ur work n even u will get time to rest as small kids do not sleep properly at night. mom n child relation is so precious none can take mom's place. For entire day m out of home as soon as I reach my kids give me warm welcome. so don't worry have little patience enjoy the time with ur tiny kid
| Aug 31, 2017
my case is also the same... living in big joint family but no one gives time n care... only I knw hw I manage things I do my house chores when my BAby's sleeping n doesn't expect frm anyone to come n sit with my LO so that I can tk bathe n do other works... sb shock ho jaate h sunn k ki even daada daadi doesn't care n says we r not bound... really a worst feeling...
| Aug 31, 2017
Sarneet Kaur just enjoy it. definitely mom n baby bond is something none can steal it. it's so special. I had to leave my job cos none were able to give the care needed for my DD. of course saying is easy but being in situation n handling ppl is difficult.
| Aug 30, 2017
In our joint family, members have silent fight of taking care of my daughter.... Everyone wants my daughter to be with them... I also had left my job so I also want my daughter with me, only when she is sleeping I try to finish my work.... But everyone at home let me feel mother is not much important for a child when they live in joint family... My mother in law want my child to be with them always very rarely she left us alone... She always try to impress her so that she will love to be with her dadi... I feel shy to impress my daughter with action song and dance in front of my in laws and no alone time with her... So sometimes I feel I will loose her love... She wants me only when she want mother milk that's all... So how joint family is good in my case?
| Aug 29, 2017
very true.... being in a joint family has its own benefits and comfort.... i cant even imagine being alone in future.... and what my daughter is learning from her grandparents.... i may hv not been able to teach her..... a little adjustment and a little compromise is actually a Family.... i believe
| Aug 28, 2017
leaving in joint family is of course a better option wen both husband and wife are working. The little kids at least have a feeling of security and love. working parents do not have enough time to spend with their kids it develops a feeling of being ignored in kids. money can buy numerous toys baby sitter will do there job but love of grandparents and feeling of being important no one else can give.
| Aug 27, 2017
Yes Kruti, if other family members have no attachment with the baby and doesn't help at all then definitely there is no fun staying in a big f family. But in most of the families, grandparents are atleast supportive and love their grand children.
| Aug 27, 2017
I dnt think so.. even if u r in joint family, if u r with someone who dnt offer help to u in taking care of baby it's a waste.
| Aug 27, 2017
So truely said Arika.. .. Joint family is a boon. ... we are just 2 of us ...and finding it so so difficult in bringing up my daughter. everyday she wants to go to her friend's place... as she is bored of us. Basically she is missing people in her life... so once she is out of the house ..does not want to return back home before she is exhausted..
| Aug 25, 2017
| Aug 25, 2017
me nd my husband both r working. we go to our work place without any tension as our baby stays with her grandparents.