Communication with your child: Have you got it right?

A simple fact is, if you initiate communication about everything at an early stage, you have a greater chance of continuing this in the teen years. However, there are certain rules to be kept in mind while talking to your child:

1. Listen to them: When your children want to talk, drop everything else. If you continue what you were doing, they will think you don’t have time for them. At times we just want to be heard and feel like someone shares our pain. A silent and sympathetic ear is sometimes the best thing we can give to our children. Say things like, “tell me more, go on! That’s just awful, I’m here, go ahead” and “let it out.”
2. Give them a choice: When you’re talking to your child, give them a choice, whenever possible. Allow them to feel like you’re talking to them and asking them, rather than talking at them and telling them. Make conversation a two way street rather than a power struggle.
3. Be a source of encouragement: When your children confide in you, they should feel relieved, inspired and recharged rather than guilty. When they come to you with a problem or situation, offer your ear as well as words of encouragement, like “I know you can handle it, I am here to help you, I went through this at your age, every problem has a solution”.
4. Avoid the questionnaire or the drilling routine: Out of the blue, follow up on a previous subject of interest before your child comes to you. This reinforces that you care and also brings you into your child’s circle.
5. Make your conversations places of comfort: Try to step away from being just the parent while listening to your child, and put yourself in your child’s shoes.
6. Apologise when wrong: If you say something or do something you probably shouldn’t have, say sorry for it. Admit that you too are human and make mistakes.
7. Avoid untrue statements: Don’t say anything out of frustration and anger. Your children will learn to listen and believe when you speak to them truthfully and calmly. Trust and respect come from honesty and sincerity. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.
8. Love them: Don’t just love them and keep on doing all your duties and responsibilities of a parent, but tell them that you love them. Show them affection just as you did when they were small. Bake a cake for no occasion, play a game, or take a walk after dinner. Show your love by showing them there is no better time than spent with them.

So go on, take initiative to talk to your child this summer break. Be their friends and not just parents. What steps will you take? Let us know in the comments below!