Does It Make You A Better Mom If You Are Guilt-Ridden?

When my baby was four months old, my husband and I went out for lunch to celebrate our wedding anniversary. With the grandparents showering the little one with love and attention, we had no cause for concern. Why, then, did I drive myself crazy with guilt? I didn't enjoy the outing, got on my husband's nerves by imagining all the worst things that could happen while we were away from home, and turned out to be just very bad company.

The constant feeling of guilt becomes a mother's companion once her baby comes along. And this affects not just a mom, but the stress passes on to the baby and the family, too. Read on to find out more about how to overcome this feeling of guilt.

Top New Mom Guilt Trips And How To Overcome Them

1. I can't take time off for myself:Every time you sit down to sip a cup of tea, or read a magazine, or take a long shower, do you feel yourself becoming tense? Do you feel like even in those 15 minutes you had to be "taking care" of your baby?
   1. Moms, please relax. Trust the grandparents or the nanny (who's proven to be trustworthy, of course) to keep your baby engaged for that time. Everybody is happier. You feel refreshed and not resentful
   2. Your baby, too, might just enjoy the company of someone else—the new ways in which this person will entertain the baby, the baby talk, their playful ways will be a refreshing change for the child, too
2. The all-consuming breast milk versus formula milk guilt:We all know that breastmilk is the best source of all nutrients for a baby. For some reason, whether a personal choice or a medical necessity, if you choose to formula-feed your baby instead, please don't beat yourself up. Nobody has the right to judge you, and nor should you feel guilty
3. The career guilt:A lot of moms get back to work a few months after the birth of their babies. And, often, they are judged for it. There are so many labels that we are forced to fit into these days - working moms, stay-at-home moms and more.
   1. What we don't realize is that there is no one size that fits all. We make our choices and as long as they work for us, we go on
   2. So, if you've arranged good, reliable child care and you're getting back to work, do it without guilt
4. Comparison:It's easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing – what they're feeding their little ones, what they are buying for them, what toys, which crèche – there's no end to it. And it only results in a constant worry if you are doing enough. Stop measuring your worth as a mother by these things, and voila, life is good
5. Relationship guilt:If we neglect our husbands, we feel guilty. If we spend some time with them, we feel guilty that we have neglected our babies.
   1. Moms, take a deep breath. A husband is a friend, lover, and confidante. Suddenly he has been pushed down to "that guy who also lives here" and he's obviously going to be hurt. Make time for him, he's the one who sticks with you through thick and thin
   2. The same goes for our friends. True friends understand that we are busy, and caught up in understanding the nuances of motherhood. So if you haven't returned that call immediately, stop stressing out. Send a text apology, and call at the first chance you get
   3. That said, don't take them for granted, ladies. If you don't work on your friendships, you won't realize when they gradually fade away

Motherhood is overwhelming, and can make everything else in our lives take a back seat. And as new mothers, we are allowed to get overwhelmed. It is how nature works and how we eventually figure out our rhythm. It is easy to be consumed by guilt, but remember that you owe it to yourself to be happy. When you cherish yourself, it becomes so much easier to work out that rhythm.

Are you a new mom who is constantly faced with feelings of guilt? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section!