8 common fights of expecting couples
Created by Janaki Srinivasan Updated on Oct 20, 2019
While the news of pregnancy brings with it times of joys and happiness, it also does have its share of turbulences - especially in the lives of the expecting parents. Pregnancy fights are not uncommon, and most often, expecting couples find themselves fighting more than usual. Blame it on the surging hormones, or the stress of added responsibilities, expecting couples often break down and argue frequently. Know the top reasons why expecting couples fight, and how to handle the same.
Why Do Pregnant Couples Fight?
For most couples, pregnancy is a time of rejoicing and waiting with bated breath for the arrival of the little one. But did you notice that this also the time that you end up fighting for the most trivial things and the arguments never seem to end? Well…you're not alone. Pregnancy brings with it a huge change in the hormonal levels in women and couples notice that there is a gradual shift in the routine from the normal. It's obvious and is for a reason, but most often than not, it brings in a bit of little fights. It has been observed that most couples experience a significant drop in the quality of relationship that they were enjoying until 'THE NEWS' got confirmed and this is not good. While it is not easy to completely do away with them, but you must as a couple think and understand why the argument arose in the first place and how important it is.
8 Common Fights of Expecting Parents
Let's take a look at some of the common arguments couples have during this period:
- Suspicious wife, poor husband: Most often, wives suspect that because of her unavailability, her husband might be having an affair with someone else. She feels that she now looks unattractive due to the extra kilos she's added on and therefore her husband is losing interest in her. Though many men claim that they do find pregnant women more attractive with all the roundness, that is not how the women feel. Women tend to feel neglected and unattractive, and feel that they are not looking great. This could lead to a lot of stress.
How to handle: The husband must try to make the wife feel important so that her mind doesn't wander off to useless thoughts. Both must understand and respect the foundation of their relationship and must not let suspicion take over the reins
- Financial issues: It is a fact that pregnancy, delivery and the times that will follow calls for more expenses. Someone has very truly termed babies as 'expensive'. In some cases, the wife may have to discontinue work and the family is forced on a tight budget. In situations like this, it is possible that the wife feels dependent on the husband or the husband might accuse the wife for this "unplanned" pregnancy. Financial planning before the arrival of a baby is most desirable, but may not be possible always.
How to handle: Calm down! Plan your budget and choose your doctor and hospital wisely. Accusing each other is not going to help anyone; instead cut down the unnecessary and bring in only what's needed. Believe me, it works
- The In-Laws factor: In some families, the in-laws might be the cause for the problems. They may ask the daughter-in-law to eat and do things in the way they did years ago, but the doctors may be advising something totally opposite. Some in-laws may object to their daughters-in-law working during pregnancy; they may want them to rest at home and eat herbs and ancient medicines, which might not go too well with their daughter-in-law.
How to handle: Very carefully, ask your husband to speak to his parents. Let them help you and be there, but they must know that times have changed. In present times, we need to follow the doctor's advice to avoid any complications. If tackled carefully, in-laws might understand and co-operate well
- Miscellaneous reasons: Of late, vaccines have become a big issue among couples. While one supports use of vaccines to ward of infections, other feels keeping away from it builds immunity. Besides, in other Western countries couples differ in their opinion of knowing the gender of the baby; some want to know right away, others want to wait until delivery. Thank God! In India, we don't have an option to know the gender of the baby before birth and hence couples here have one argument less, if that makes life any easier.
How to handle: Well, again, a very sensitive issue rooted in beliefs. The only way out is to understand each other not get too stressed out
Small arguments are alright, but not ones that stress either of you out, especially not the mother-to-be. Remember any amount of stress can harm your baby. This is the time when the couple has to dream, plan and work together. Don't let the fights take over this wonderful phase where you can work towards a common future. Understand that this is a difficult phase for both of you. Help each other, discuss your problems and anxieties and find a common solution together.
| Oct 11, 2017
| Oct 08, 2017
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| Oct 07, 2017
Agree with all the above points. I think every parent has gone through this phase and the similar argument.
| Oct 07, 2017
during pregnancy there is turbulence in the relationship between husband and wife, courtesy hormonal changes. if the bond is not strong enough to sail through , it does leave some scars which are visible even after the baby is born . thank u so much for sharing this useful blog with so many handy tips on how to tide over such times..