How to deal with difficult questions your child asks

Darling, why don’t you wear shorts under your frock?
Why, ma?
So that you can be comfortable playing; you will be safe also if you fall and get hurt.

Why do we have hair down under, mom?
They are the natural panties, dear, to give protection to our private parts.

Why do you wear this thing, mama?
It is called a bra, sweetie. It is to protect my chest, as it is very tender and needs protection.
Would I wear it too? When?
You also will need to wear it, when you grow up a bit, say in a few years. We will start with something known as sports bra first, with you. 

Answering the difficult questions
When our little angel’s ask such questions, it is normal to feel completely bowled over, but please do not panic. Remember, you are dealing with it for the first time. These are natural queries, and I believe, you just need to prepare yourself and be as honest (and least descriptive) as possible.

Here are somethings you can try:
1)    Ask yourself these same questions, when your child is not with you? Find your answers, rather than the “right” answer. Share with her, leave some space for questions. Do not hesitate to say “I will share with you when the right time comes” or “I do not know this; can we talk on this tomorrow” (make sure that you do, after the required thought and preparation).

2)    A woman’s body, undoubtedly beautiful, is complicated too. It is, for one reason - we bear children. Our anatomy is based on this very fact. To explain this to our child, in terms that are understandable and least overwhelming, we need to find the correct words – our correct words. We cannot have one formula talk for this. You know your child, her language, what she likes to hear, what gets too much for her…go with your convictions. Make mistakes. Fumble. Accept. 

3)    My personal experience is that children are very intelligent. If they feel that you are getting uncomfortable talking about something or listening to something, they would stop asking you those. Do you want that? Or do you want an open, honest expression of thoughts?

4)    Find the simplest answer, most logical for the child and keep it short. Not “embarrassed” short, but “nothing more to it for now” kind of short. Wait for her queries, and take them head on, if it is the right time; delay, if it is not.

5)    Give her a reason for your answers if you must. For eg: instead of saying
“When you are playing in the park, do not go anywhere else” vs. “when you are playing in the park, please let me know when you are going anywhere else”; Or “No” vs “You cannot do it because…”
           
The other day, my daughter, who is 9, came barging in with her friends, asking for money – they all wanted to buy chips, chocolates etc. I said “no”. for the first time; no reason, just plain “no”…it hurt her, but she went away with her friends to play again. A few hours later, after her evening bath, she asked me again “why did you say no, mama, reason bhi nahin bataya”
That is when I decided to be fully honest with her.
“I cannot pay for everyone kiddo. If you had planned it in a way that everyone was getting their share, I might have agreed. Also, I feel that these days, you do not take “no” for an answer even if I reasonably explain things to you. If you would do that, I will have to deliberately say “no” to you, so that you know that you do not always get what you want. If you want me to be reasonable with you, you also will have to do the same with me.”

6)    Do not be a friend; be a parent, who respects her and is reasonable with her.

Believe me, they understand honest, non-loaded words. Say it as it is. Trust her, and trust your upbringing!