How To Deal With Sex-Related Questions Asked By Children - Some Tips
Created by Shikha Batra Updated on Feb 06, 2020
7-year-old Sanjana asks her mother, "Mom, will I too have those (pointing towards her breasts) soon? My friend's mother has really big ones. She didn't stop there, and asked "Mom why do we have these?" Sunita was overwhelmed, wishing she was invisible.
9-year-old Sudhir, concerned about his sister, asked his father "Dad did you see a red spot on Sheena's skirt, I think she is hurt. Should we take her to the doctor?"
11-year-old Rama who had recently begun her periods asked her mother, "Mom will kissing a boy, make me pregnant?" leaving her mother confused and embarrassed.
When your child comes to you with one of these questions, you might be stumped, wondering how to answer the question. How much information is too much information? And of course, you might feel embarrassed about answering the question, thanks to these absolutely normal topics being considered taboo. Your child, on the other hand,will be curious about the human body, about what sex is, and what menstruation is.If he doesn't get the answers from you, he's going to turn to easily accessible media, and random snippets heard on the playground.
How To Deal With Sex-Related Questions Asked By Children?
Just when you thought your child was too young to wonder about these topics, you hear a question that baffles you. If you're flustered you might tend to dodge the question, or even ignore it. But your child is hearing this loud and clear – these aren't topics to be discussed, and you're wrong in even asking me this. And that's when either unreliable or inappropriate sources come into the picture.
Instead do the following to ensure that proper knowledge is imparted.
- Remember that your child expects you to be honest in your answer
- Keep in mind your child's age and respond accordingly. (For instance, your 6-year-old doesn't need details about labor pains!)
- Encourage asking questions and remind your child that he's free to speak to you about anything
Some Tips On Speaking To Your Child About Sex And Related Topics
Here are some tips that can come handy when you speak with your child about sex and related topics.
- Calm does it: It's quite natural to feel surprised, flustered or embarrassed when faced with a question about sex. Instead, try taking a deep breath, and answering the question without showing any embarrassment
- Go casual: You don't need to make a big deal out of the situation with a very serious talk. Instead, ease in the topics when you're going for a walk, or teaching your child about the human body. Speak without awkwardness or hesitation
- Use opportunities: If you're watching something on television or leafing through a magazine that provokes a question, seize the opportunity. Books are great tools for teaching your child about the body, too
- Speaking about masturbation: Speak to your child the occasional need for private time to explore his body, behind closed doors. Explain that both parents and children need to respect each other's privacy and space. Knocking before entering a closed room always helps
- Be age-appropriate in your responses: Keep your answers simple, and to the point. Overload of detailed explanations can be overwhelming as well as frightening for your child
A Guide To Answering Some Common Sex-Related Questions
Below are some common questions asked by children regarding sex and the appropriate answers you can give your child for those queries.
Q.1 How Are Babies Made?
A.1 When a sperm that is made in a male's testes meets with the egg that is formed in female's ovaries, it's the start of a new baby.
Q.2 How Does The Sperm Reaches Female Body?
A.2 It is the nature's way of ensuring that semen from male's penis reaches the female's womb. Out of those million sperms just one sperm joins the egg to form a baby.
Q.3 What Do We Mean By 'Making Love'?
A-3 When two grown-ups show their love to each other by touching each other's body during private time together. By doing this they make each other feel happy and wonderful.
Q-4 What Is Masturbation?
A-4 It is touching of your private parts (penis for boys and clitoris for girls) in privacy only. It doesn't do any harm and it is not unnatural or shameful.
Q-5 Why Do Girls Have Periods?
A-5 Periods are a normal part of growing up when girls bleed through their vagina every month. They have their periods when they go through puberty anywhere around the age of 10-15 years or even earlier which shows that their bodies are getting ready to be able to have babies.
Q-6 What Is Puberty?
A-6 Puberty is the time when a child's body starts changing into an adult's body. During puberty girls grow their breasts and begin having their periods every month while boys start to get facial hair, deeper voices, wider shoulders, more muscles and they start making sperms in their testes, so that they both can make babies someday.
Your child might be satisfied with your response, or he may have a ton of follow-up questions. But what's important is that he knows you're willing to listen and take him seriously. This will make your child feel comfortable about opening up to you in the future, too.
Please share your personal experiences of how you have been dealing with your children's sex-related questions and pour in your valuable feedback to enrich this discussion, in the comments section!
| Sep 28, 2016
A wonderful article written keeping in mind every little aspects of details. As rightly pointed out, kids lookout for sources to get the information and internet being the easiest way, can be dangerous and misleading. It is only the parent/s, especially mothers, who can educate the child in the right manner. Sex, being a sensitive issue has to be explained in the age appropriate way what otherwise could be perceived wrongly.
| Aug 17, 2017
hi gud morning! Thanks for sharing gud tips on handling de sex related questions from kids. I too HV some problems relating kids queries. My kid who is juz 5yr old is asking me, wht u Have in ur chest, why it is big,Y he don't have tht. Hope i gave him proper explanation saying that grown up girls will Have their body structure like this. I said as HW u wld get beard & moustache once u grow like dady.... like tht girls also HV some changes in their body structure. But he didn't stop his excitement in digging questions with tht. this makes me embarrassed & anger.
| Aug 17, 2017
Priya this is his sheer curiosity to explore more about human body. it's advisable to answer his questions in an age appropriate manner. if u would feel angry or frustrated he might not open his Pandora'sbox in front of u, but his mind would not stop thinking about it. he would seek answers from other unreliable resources which could be damaging for him. u could tell him , when he was a baby Mumma used to feed him milk from here and all lil babies have milk from breasts till they are 2 years of age. use exact term to talk about it .be prepared for more related questions. the more u would shy away or leave his questions unanswered more will be his curiosity to seek answers. hope this helps!