Is your single Child really lonely?
Created by Bharatigb Updated on Oct 15, 2015
‘Will my child be lonely without a sibling?’ is the thought that lingers constantly in the minds of parents with a single child as they wish to ensure a quality lifestyle for their child (or children) and themselves. (Even the government now encourages single child, so some philanthropists among us are left wondering whether they are really hampering the country’s progress by making an addition to the exploding population. Believe me; we can serve our country in many other better ways!) The decision becomes even more difficult when the husband and wife have opposing views which was the situation in my case. Though a mother of two girls now, there was a stage when I used to feel that people going for a second child were out of their minds. In spite of this mindset, I started listing down all the pros and cons in a neat tabular form. I even went to the extent of wondering that if all couples decide to have a single child, then two generations down the line, people won’t even have first cousins.
Yes, we ultimately went for the second child as we felt that a second child would not force too many compromises on our lifestyle. I agree that it is very frustrating when my daughters place high demand on my time and energy or when, in a fit of rage, declare that they hate each other but at the same time, it gives me immense pleasure seeing them playing together, sharing things and sometimes missing each other within a matter of few minutes.
Everyone has one’s own reasons and priorities but I hope that the following points might help you in making this critical decision
‘Single children are spoilt’ is a myth: Single children are not spoilt and are content as long as the parents don’t keep attributing any misbehavior of the child to being a single child.
Child nagging for a sibling: It is natural for children to ask for a baby brother or sister but it depends purely on the parents’ talent to convince them as it is with any other thing that they demand.
Your lifestyle: Keep your physical and financial limitations in mind so that you don’t have to make major compromises in your lifestyle.
Sibling rivalry: It is a common phenomenon and is mild in most cases. The bond they share with each other out-weighs the trivial fights.
Pressure from elders: Ignore it! The decision should be solely based on the mutual understanding between the husband and wife.
Be prepared: In case raising your first child had been a piece of cake, don’t assume that it would be so with the second one. Ensure that you don’t develop a bias by repeatedly declaring that the second child has caused all the turbulence in your otherwise peaceful life.
I wish you all the best in making the most important decision of your life where there must be no space for any future regrets!