Is Your Son Too Shy Of Girls?

Santosh Dayal
7 to 11 years

Created by Santosh Dayal
Updated on May 20, 2021

Is Your Son Too Shy Of Girls
Reviewed by Expert panel

Every child has moments when they are reserved.However, do you sometimes wonder if your child is too shy? A common concern among parents seems to be – "should I just let my child be? Or should I help him overcome the shyness?"

The period between 7 to 11 years is often called the ‘late childhood' period, where a child's social and emotional development grow in leaps and bounds.

  1. Your child will develop friendships that are strong. It is extremely important for him to have friends, particularly of the same
  2. gender, to whom he can speak to without holding back
  3. Peer pressure will start rearing its head!
  4. Start becoming aware of his growing body

So don't worry - this ‘new' awareness about the opposite sex may be one of the reasons behind your son's shy behavior.

When Should I Worry About Shyness?

Shyness is pretty common. A fourth to half the people are estimated to be shy! Being shy is not really a problem.However, if you see your son finds it difficult to interact with girls or avoids them, this is the time he needs your help, as interacting with both sexes will help him develop his interpersonal and social skills.

Tips To Help Your Child Overcome Shyness

If you find that your child needs help to overcome his shyness, here are some tips that you can try.

  1. Interact, don't criticize: As a parent you need to encourage open interactions with your son and try to identify the reasons behind his shy behavior.
    1. Create opportunities for conversation with your child. Have chats while walking to school (when eye contact isn't necessary) or while driving. Drawing him out slowly to open up to you is important
    2. Remember that criticizing or bullying a child for behaving this way just creates a stronger behavioraldefense mechanism in him, often worsening the problem
  2. Help your child initiate a conversation: Many children find it difficult to initiate a conversation, especially in a group.
    1. Show your son how to listen in a group of people, and then choose his moment to speak
    2. Even if he has a conversation starter like "Hi!" or "Good Morning!", it is a good opening to break the shyness barrier
  3. Give praise, and build confidence: Make sure you praise your child when he makes an effort at overcoming his shyness by initiating a conversation or even participating and responding.
    1. If he has a difficult time, speak to him about it and discuss why he closed up
    2. Talk about past incidents when your child had difficulty in opening up, but then made an effort to overcome it
    3. Never give feedback in front of others, it can make your child clam up further
  4. Create opportunities to practice: You can give him tasks which will include interacting with girls of the similar age. Some other ideas are – ask him to convey a message to the neighbor, or enquire about an item at the grocery store
  5. Empathize, don't sympathize: Speaking about your own personal experiences is a sure shot way to show empathy. When you tell your son about your personal struggles with shyness, and how you overcame it, his confidence about doing the same will increase. Don't encourage him to feel sorry for himself
  6. Be a positive role model: Your son's first role model is you. Display behavior that you would like him to copy.
    1. If he observes both parents' behavior with the opposite sex, he will try to model one of them
    2. If even one parent exhibits shy behavior, the chances of him imitating that is pretty high. Get your partner on board to help your child!
    3. So demonstrate the behavior that you would expect your son to follow

Your child needs your empathy, love and kindness. He needs to know that no matter what the problem is, you have his back. Every child is unique and has different strengths, and do not try to push him too much! Did you find Santosh's tips on helping your son overcome shyness useful? How do you help your shy son to be more social? Do leave your comments in the comments section below. We love hearing from you!

This content has been checked & validated by Doctors and Experts of the parentune Expert panel. Our panel consists of Neonatologist, Gynecologist, Peadiatrician, Nutritionist, Child Counselor, Education & Learning Expert, Physiotherapist, Learning disability Expert and Developmental Pead.

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| Aug 08, 2017

Very helpful article.....

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| Aug 09, 2017

Deserve lots of applaud for giving useful tips on such an complex issue. Indeed child psychology is a deep and delicate subject to deal with and the kind of insights provided by writer is thought provoking. Normally we hesitate to experiment new things with our child and that makes the problem more difficult to deal. Here I would solicit for more inputs on the subject from Mr Santosh Dayal.

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| Nov 10, 2017

very important for parents to connect well with their children these days. we just can't let them be.. by having an open discussion with them and giving a patient ear to them we can at least understand their apprehensions and anxieties.. it's important for them to be comfortable with the opposite sex as they would need to share same space with them and also at times work in close collaboration with them for group projects. very useful tips . thanks for sharing!

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| Jan 24, 2018

Hello sir, very useful blog. helpful for my son and myself. thank you for sharing

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| Feb 05, 2020

Santosh Dayal interesting article

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| Jul 10, 2020

These tips are very useful, easy to follow n these tips vl definitely help to overcome the problem of shyness among children

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