How to Raise Happy Kids? 7 Ways to Make Your Child Happy

"Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions." --- Dalai Lama XIV

When I became a mother, little did I know how stressful and exhausting parenting would be! Living away from family, in a different country with very little support in raising the children and with the daily chores has gradually turned us into grumpy grownups! Now with my second child entering toddlerhood is making me realize as to how challenging parenting can get. It is a challenge faced by all parents irrespective of whether they stay at home or work full time. The guilt of not being able to do enough for your child, to always wonder if your child is happy, constantly strive to do more than you can without really understanding if what you are doing is the right thing for the family are thoughts perhaps each parent goes through. The stress of having to juggle all aspects of everyday life can easily affect our children in little ways at times.

As the saying goes Better Late than Never- there are ways to make a difference in day to day situations; to avoid the stress from affecting our children; ways to get out of the unhappy frame of mind.

What are the situations which lead to parent's stress being passed on to a child?

1. Work-related stress
2. Worrying, Frustration & Anger
3. 3Sickness
4. Children's actions or behaviors
5. Fatigue

The list can go on. The situation greatly varies from household to household and on an individual basis. Children can read our faces and our body language and instantly they understand if we are upset. My 4-year-old tells me that she knows when I am not happy as that is the time I do not want to spend time with her; that in those times I either ask her to find something to play with or watch cartoons. It was not easy for me to realize how easily a child can read our moods even when we think we are hiding it from them!
According to research done in the USA, children showed signs of being sad, frustrated, worried, and reported stress-related headaches and stomach aches just by seeing their parents stressed or angry.

Snap out of it and get happy!

Happiness is like a bug that spreads easily and it is a bug we would like our children to catch!

Ways to Make Your Child Happy

Here are a few simple ways to make your child happy. Read here...

1. Spend Time Together: Head for the outdoors, to the playground; or let them explore nature. For children anything is a plaything be it pebbles, twigs, mud, and just about anything; let them water the plants while you watch or participate in a game with them, play hide and seek. Spending time with your child will help you bond together, will let them have wonderful memories, and will certainly make them happy!

2. Talk, Share, Express, and Listen: Communication is the key to any happy relationship. Talk to your child, tell her stories, encourage him to share stories, talk about their emotions, and make sure you listen. Become your child's friend.
3. Let them make their choices: Let them pick their clothes for an outing, choose what they would like to have for dinner, watch a movie of their choice or go to a place where they would like to! Give them the opportunity to make some decisions and watch the priceless smiles on their faces.
4. Become a child: Children love it when parents behave like one of them. My kids are really happy when I jump, play, and roll with them on the bed; when I tickle them and let them tickle me; when I play with them and make a mess; when I make faces or laugh out loud at their jokes. So go on, become a child once in a while.
5. Go easy on the rules: Rules are good; they give us a feeling of being in control. Children know that they need to follow the rules even though they may not like it. So once in a while, let them play with water (they can be changed and dried later); let them cook (I give my kids a handful of uncooked lentils, some uncooked vegetables and a little water in a pan. They pretend to cook all the while making a mess). A little bit of untidiness and mess is worthwhile if your children are having fun.
6. Praise, Encourage and Appreciate: Children love to go out of their way to do things that grownups do. Hand them a piece of cloth to wipe a dirty area; let them set the dinner table and clear up after mealtime; let them fold and store their own clothes or involve them in any other small chore. Encourage and praise them when they are doing the chore and once done appreciate the good work and thank them for their help. This helps in boosting their confidence and inculcates a sense of responsibility and good values.
7. Unconditional Love: Children like to experiment with things, some of which may not be appropriate. For instance, all children love to jump on the bed or the sofa in spite of us telling them not to. Helping them understand the reasons for not doing something calmly instead of shouting or punishing them, will help them to be more open to listening to you. Children need to feel that they have complete love and support from their parents. This will encourage them to take healthy risks, understand that people make mistakes, and mistakes can be corrected. Making mistakes and learning from them is perhaps vital for their growth and development.

Handy Tips for Parents in Times of Stress, Anxiety

1. As a parent, we need to realize that it is ok to experience negative emotions.
2. Make sure your child is in a safe place and then leave the room for a few minutes to cool down.
3. Inhaling and exhaling slowly while counting from 1 to 10 greatly helps in reducing any anxiety and putting things in perspective. :)
4. Relax- play music, take a shower, make a refreshing drink or anything which helps you relax.
5. Speak to another adult and express what you are feeling.
6. Sometimes you will need to just snap out of the negative frame of mind for the sake of your child.
7. Be aware of your body language- have a relaxed one instead of a tensed and an angry demenour.
8. Realize that it is important to control frustration and anger to have a happy family and most importantly to make your child happy- something which goes on to reflect on their personalities.

Here is a little compilation from my experience. Please feel free to share your thoughts, experiences and reflections in the comments area below.

"Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles not tears."

--- John Lennon