How to nurture the emotional quotient of your child

Have you ever heard this phrase "sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you'll ever meet"?  

In case you are worried about having an overly sensitive child, trust me they are someone who can be trusted, and being trustworthy is a good character trait to have.  

Recently, I witnessed a mother being worried about her child being cranky and having a tendency to cry for little things. The bad part was that I told her “you should correct his nature else it will affect him in the long run”…and I felt guilty afterward. Being a mother myself, I know how difficult parenting can get. We always try to do the best for our child. No one wants their child to be cracky or witness them crying. I thought to myself how wonderful it would have been if I could have helped the mother instead of giving her free advise. So, I spoke to some other moms on sensitivity in children and based on their experiences along with some research, sharing below some pointers around raising an overly sensitive child -

First, let's discuss what it means to be overly sensitive:  

We parents focus on the Intelligence Quotient and overall development of the child be it academics, sports, or extracurricular activities but often forget to pay attention to one of the most important factors for the development of a child i.e. Emotional Quotient. It determines their ability to manage their feelings and emotions. Children with high EQ have good social skills and can also manage their relationships better. 

Children lacking EQ are over-sensitive and emotional but they are caring too. They always need a sense of protection eg. my friend's son recently exclaimed "mamma mujhse kabhi door mat jana”.  

EQ is important so that they know they are independent as well as responsible whether it’s a classroom, family or a community. Employers of the 21st century often give preference to someone with a higher EQ. 

How to help a child with low EQ: 

• It always starts in the family. Try to understand and acknowledge your child whenever possible. Instead of saying “No, you can’t play now because its study time", you can use the sentence “I know you are not done yet with your games, but I feel you are a big boy now and would be happy if you can teach me whatever you have learned so far in school". 
   
• Try to create a positive environment at home. If any of your family members keep complaining about the troubles in life and how frustrated they are, it will set a bad example for your child and they will not develop their emotional quotient. Instead, they will think to cry is part of life and we are allowed to cry instead of trying to fix them. 
   
• Make them feel safe and avoid situations wherein they feel a sense of loneliness or separation. Even if you are a working mother, there are certain moments wherein you can enjoy some exclusive time with your child. During this time with your child, avoid distractions like your smartphone, phone calls, guests, or cooking. Give your child some undivided attention. Hug them, play with them, ask them to narrate stories to you, and give them certain responsibilities eg. you can say "how wonderful it would be if you can help me in arranging the dinner plates on the dining table today", or "can you help me in decorating this salad". This will make them feel that they are receiving various responsibilities because they are growing up. Make them feel important. Prioritize time with them. 
   
• T.V. can be the biggest enemy in your child's growth. If your child is addicted to watching T.V. cartoons, pay close attention to what your child is watching and how it is affecting them. Do not deprive them of T.V. as they will feel the need to watch more in that case. But, it's important to keep a watch. Nowadays, cartoon characters show how smartly a child can cry and demand to get things from parents. Parents who comply with such child tantrums might feel relieved in the short run but in the long run, they would become more sensitive and are learning to cry for their demands. 

Hope this helps. Happy parenting to all!  

Do you have a sensitive child at home? Please share your experiences in the comment box below and help other moms!